My father's favorite way to describe a particularly ugly woman is to say "Time was not her friend."
But is time anyone's friend, really? I'm not high right now, but go with me down this existential little path here: time robs you of your youth, your independence, your thin midsection, your ability to not be negative and cynical for one goddamned SECOND. Time also FLIES by, especially in the night, and when your alarm clock rings in the morning, you cannot fathom how six hours went by.
The conclusion? Time is no one's friend; I don't give a fuck if it supposedly "heals all wounds" (LIES).
That said, in order to keep your status as a functioning member of society, you have to keep track of time. Might as well make it enjoyable with this White & White Digital Clock ($222, Kibardin Design). Look at how modern, look at how sleek. This is exactly the type of clock Patrick Bateman would have had in his apartment, amiright?