You have a cousin who lives in California. He moved out there after college, and although he has only live there a few years, and although he is from Rochester, New York, he has started speaking like a surfer dude.
Every phone call you get, he sounds more and more like a sun-drenched stoner. Every Facebook status talks of "gnarly waves" and "rad fish tacos." You are annoyed because 1.) you hate phonies and 2.) you still live in Rochester, New York. Why should this d-bag get to start his morning with a quick surf in the ocean, while you're shoveling your car out from underneath the latest snow storm?
Here's the perfect housewarming gift for this rat bastard: All the Surfboards in California Print ($130, Uncommon Goods). He's surfing on all of the surfboards in California, catching all of the waves in California, while you're knee-deep in snow. GREAT.