If you grew up in a household that was the magical combination of Polish AND Midwestern, you will relate to this Get Your Dupa Back to the Midwest T-Shirt ($25, The Social Dept).
Dupa, of course, is the Polish word for "ass," which is a word that your mother, grandmother, or assorted loud aunts would yell at you (ie: "I'm gonna smack your dupa if you don't stop screaming" or, at the dinner table "Sit down on your dupa and eat your delicious borscht").
Your mother will love this shirt because it calls to mind her Polish heritage and also does the nagging for her. Why don't you visit anymore? You just come home on the holidays and that's it? Get your dupa back here for a real visit this year, you dumb Polack.