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Think back to middle school.  You were wearing oversized glasses and you were moderately overweight.  While everyone else talked about the newest boy band, you had your nose in a book. 

"What a loser," they said. 

Of course, life is a hilarious bitch, because you, the former "loser," are all grown up.  You're educated, employed, and live somewhere that is located at least one hour away from your childhood home. 

While you were out experiencing personal growth, the people who called you a loser were carving out a nice little hole for themselves to live in, right around the corner from your old school, coincidentally.  They are wearing hoop earrings, getting pregnant, and working in retail.  The most important question they ask throughout the course of their day is: "Is that debit or credit?" 


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[GIFTED] Old Tom Foolery Cards

A recurring problem I've had with thank you cards is that I want to show people I'm grateful without destroying my image.  What I'm getting at: I'd rather eat a box of thumbtacks than send a Hallmark card that drips with sappy sentiment.  

So, I've always tried to seek out cards that say "thank you" without saying, "Thank you, I'm stupid and weak and probably crying right now."  

Old Tom Foolery makes awesomely snarky cards for around $3.75 each, my favorite being the Headlines Collection

More examples after the jump.

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[GIFTED] Cheer Up Tray

Wah, wah.  It's Monday and you hate your job and your life.  Cheer up with this Cheer Up Laquer Tray ($24.95, Fishs Eddy). 

This tray serves as a constant reminder of this fact: the only problems you have are white people problems.  Even if you're not white.  If you're reading this blog, you have white people problems.  I guarantee it.


[GIFTED] Embarassing Photo Sunglasses

So you went to a party on Saturday.  You did your hair and you wore a shirt without rips or stains in it.  You wore lipgloss and some sort of "accessory."  You looked GREAT.  Because you were feeling so confident, you jumped into every picture being taken.  

The next morning, you hop on Facebook, and all of your dreams of gorgeous photos of yourself are completely shattered.  You look like an assclown.  In EVERY picture.  You look so bad that you begin to wonder whether you have body dismorphic disorder in reverse, where you think you look awesome when really, you look like you should stay inside with a bag on your head and avoid all human contact.  

After your self esteem plummets and you frantically untag photos of yourself, pick up a pair of these Embarassing Photo Sunglasses ($12, Urban Outfitters).  They'll shield your face from future life-ruining photos, promise. 


[GIFTED] Marvel Flexible Spatulas

Hey, ladies!  The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?  LOL, yeah totally.  And, ergo, the way to morbid obesity is through a package of Toll House Cookies? 

WHATEVER, YOU GUYS.  Sometimes you need a cookie. 

These Marvel Flexible Spatulas ($49.95, Williams-Sonoma) will make you feel like a superhero, even when you're about to eat 16 cookies in one sitting while watching Farrah Fawcett in The Burning Bed on Netflix Instant View when your roommate is gone and no one is there to judge you.  It's FINE. 

Via Badder Homes & Gardens