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My 5 Best Gifts: Clay Kramer from Interior Gurus

Let's face it: giving the perfect gift to someone is like standing on top of a mountain and shouting, "HEY EVERYONE, I'M NOT AN EMOTIONAL CRIPPLE!" 

My 5 Best Gifts is a recurring feature that asks people to give up the goods on the best gifts they've given or received. 

Click to read more ...


[GIFTED] iStuck iPhone Holder

The other day, I saw a commercial for an iPhone for $49, which frankly, made me want to jump out the nearest open window. 

Since the value of tiny pocket computers has gone down so significantly that I no longer fear using them on the A train, this iStuck iPhone holder ($12, Fred Flare) is more than appropriate.  Let's pretend to stick old gum on an expensive, advanced piece of technology.


[GIFTED] F Bomb Paperweight

Everyone knows that one person that doesn't hold back.  They don't drop F bombs, they drop truth bombs, and they never let you forget it.

A baptism, a funeral, a doctor's office, a playground: nothing's gonna stop their fucking game.   

Personally, I am a big proponent of the work "fuck," mainly because I don't know any other way to simultaneously convey my anger and enthusiasm (ie: "This fucking blows!" and "This is fucking awesome!").

Pick up this F Bomb paperweight ($50, Uncommon Goods) for the trashy, foul-mouthed jerk in your life.

They'll fucking love it.  


[GIFTED] Miansai Bracelets

Refinery 29 put together a round-up of awesome bracelets from jewelery designer Miansai, calling them "friendship bracelets." 

1. Hooked Bracelet, $55

2. Half Rope Cuff, $155

3. Beacon Bracelet, $95

4. Leather and Silver Hooked Bracelet, $60

I think they're great, but allow me to call them what they are: LESBIAN BRACELETS.

Tell me I'm wrong: they're made out of bungee cord.  This is probably why I like them.

Whatever, I hate stereotypes.  I have to go fix my car and then eat hummus, bye.


[LINKED] Shameless Self-Promotion

In case you missed it (what, you don't track my every move?), I wrote an apology letter to New York City over at Fucked in Park Slope.

The basis for it was that there are a million douchey love letters to New York City out there, written by Carrie Bradshaw wannabes that include sentences like "LOL thanks for having every form of take-out ever because I use my stove as a place to store all of my shoes!"  Guess what, girls?  That's not charming or New York-y, that's what the scientific community would classify as a "borderline hoarder tendencies."

There are also a bunch of irreverent "manuals" to living in New York City, which are usually plastered all over the Facebook pages of girls you went to high school with who love cupcakes.  They say things like, "picture hearing a man playing the saxophone outside your bedroom window. End up hearing a lot of sirens instead. Figure it’s okay because it’s New York and you’re still so happy to be here."

Yeah, okay. 

What it comes down to is that while New York is a giant asshole, so are you.  Maybe it's time to apologize.

And though I'm someone who has literally apologized to more than one person by quoting lyrics from Ruben Studdard's "Sorry 2004," (what I'm trying to say here is that apologies are not my strong suit), I think it might be time to try to apologize to New York.  For all of my drunken shenanigans, for all of the complaining, for EVERYTHING.

Read it here.