Think back to the last time you purchased glasses. Whether they were sunglasses or regular eyeglasses—it doesn’t matter. The experience is the same. You were rushed, and we all know that when we’re rushed, we make regrettable decisions. Why do we feel rushed?
Reason #1: The salesperson is standing directly next to you, rolling her eyes and silently willing you to just pick out a pair of frames already so she can get back to her desk and back to her Facebook stalking.
Reason #2: You want to try on 50 pairs of glasses, but you’re painfully aware that this scenario is not going to turn into one of those makeover montages that happen in romantic comedies where the main character tries one one billion versions of everything from dresses to vintage t-shirts to big sunhats and fedoras to over-sized sunglasses and hi-larious nerd glasses. You’re not allowed to do that in real life unless you have a reality show or a billion dollars, so you try on fewer pairs than you want to in an effort to not look like a ridiculous diva.
Reason #3: Speaking of not wanting to look like a diva, when trying on frames at the store, you are forced to resist the urge to do what you would do in front of the mirror at home, which is preen in front of it for 45 minutes, acting out every possible facial expression like a psychopath. You’d practice your “nice to meet you” smile, your “But you said you’d give me a raise in Q2, boss” face, and, of course, your “social media duckface” expression.
For all of these reasons, you make a quick decision, buy the frames, and go home and wait for them to be fitted with your prescription. You can’t remember what they look like the minute you walk out of the store, so you have no idea what to expect when you pick them up. You try to describe them to your friends and family, but paint a confusing picture, saying things like, “Well, they’re brownish black, and they’re sort of round but kind of square.” You’re fooling no one: you have no idea what they look like, and more importantly, you have no idea what they look like on you, which is pretty tragic, because glasses are worn ON YOUR FACE. It’s kind of impossible for people to interact with you and not see them.
This whole process is probably why you’re currently wearing the same pair of glasses you’ve had for the past 10 years. You know it’s time to upgrade, but you’re afraid. Could you pull off those angular glasses? Are those even in style anymore? Stop. It’s okay.