When I was growing up, my dad loved to blast music in the house on the weekends. You would think that my love of classic rock and Motown would have come from these loud weekends at home when my boy band music from my dinky clock radio in my room competed with his gigantic, professional-grade stereo in the living room, but not so much.
Here are the albums that my father blasted ad naseum on the weekends throughout my formative years:
Sting, Englishman in New York (Solid)
America, History: America's Greatest Hits (Not terrible)
Billy Ocean, Love Zone (What?)
George Michael, Faith (Are you kidding me?)
The Carpenters, The Essential Collection (What the FUCK?)
Yes, this incredibly diverse selection of largely crappy music is unfortunately the soundtrack of my childhood. I can't decide if I'm mildly autistic or if the songs have just been played so much that the lyrics have been imprinted on the insides of my eyelids, but if you asked me to, I could sing every word of Billy Ocean's "When the Going Gets Tough (The Tough Get Going)" and The Carpenters' "Rainy Days and Mondays." Both would be great karaoke songs, now that I'm thinking of it.
Of course, the adult themes in this music proved to be confusing for my child-mind—when Sting says that he's an alien in "Englishman in New York," I pictured space aliens, and when America sang about a horse with no name, I wondered why the fuck they didn't just name the thing. Call him Mr. Ed, who cares? Why write a whole song about it? I was also confused about by the ENTIRETY of George Michael's Faith album, although, as we later found out, so was he.
The point of this trip down memory lane is this: dads love to play their music loud and proud. They don't give a fuck if you think The Carpenters are lame or if George Michael sucks. This Get Up, Stand Up Audio System ($300, House of Marley) will let him play all of his horrible music as loud as he wants, directly from his phone. It even comes with a remote, so he can play the same song over and over, like my dad did with "Get Out of My Dreams (And Into My Car)."