First of All T-Shirt

For my fellow people in the NNR Club (the "never not riled" club, for the uninitiated), everyone in your orbit is constantly ready for you to launch into one of your signature Julia Sugarbaker-style rants.  Typically, they're humorous and entertaining—there are few people who can truly get torqued up by mudane things like slow walkers and people who talk loudly on their phones while on mass transit.  So, for the people who start sentences with "LISTEN" or "FIRST OF ALL," for those for whom no issue is too small to have a fierce, loud opinion about, this First of All T-Shirt ($28, Thug Life Shirts) is perfect.  Wear it loud and proud. 

Ice Pop Socks

Socks aren't really necessary in the summer, unless you're a goddamned business person, you probably have to wear business-y outfits.  You know: close-toed shoes, long wool pants, and the like.  

So, if you're so grown-up that the only fun or personality you can inject into your office daily life is through your socks, but your soul isn't COMPLETELY dead to the point where you only wear solids in neutral colors, these Ice Pop Socks ($14, DOIY Design) are for you.  You can show them to all of your equally-depressed co-workers while everyone else is enjoying a day at the beach.    

Make Par Not War T-Shirt

Presidents have been criticized over and over again about how much time they spend on the golf course.  The press gave President Clinton shit about smoking cigars and putting from the rough. President Trump couldn't stop giving President Obama shit about the handful of times he went golfing over 8 years even though Trump is at one of his golf courses every goddamned weekend.  

But here's the thing: golf is supposed to be a very languid, relaxing experience.  There's a reason why old men play it (and also fall asleep watching it on their LayZboys). There are a million things to fight about, we shouldn't be fighting about something as boring as golf. Let's take golf back, collectively, by wearing this Make Par Not War T-Shirt ($35, LinkSoul). 

Maki Socks

There are people in this world who like sushi and then there are people in this world who LOVE sushi. The people who LOVE sushi are always trying to get you to drop $40 on a sushi lunch, dreaming of a trip to Japan, and trying to get their parents to not make a face at the mere mention of sashimi.

That's why any rawfishophiles is going to love these Maki Socks ($14, Uncommon Goods), which look like honest-to-goodness sushi rolls (they're also available in California or Tuna roll designs, seriously). This way, they can have sushi even when they're not having sushi.  

Go Dad's Sports Team Shirt

When you become a parent, this weird phenomenon happens where everyone assumes that a gift for your child is, by defacto, a gift for you.  In a way, it is, because if your kid's happy (and quiet), you're happy, and if someone buys something for your kid, you maybe don't have to spend your money on it yourself, so the real gift for you is the extra cash in your pocket. 

So, if we're continuing down this path in time for Father's Day, get the dad in your life this Go Dad's Sports Team Shirt ($20, The Social Dept.), which he will love to deck his child out in around game day and also conveys the indifference that a two-year-old has towards anything that isn't food and Sesame Street.