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Entries in art (42)

Friday
Feb152013

[GIFTED] Below the Boat Topographic Maps

If you are like me, you have a deep-seated love for water and maps of water.  Water is calming and maps make you seem more wordly and cultured than you actually are.  Hanging maps all over your house says to visitors (ones that don't know you well, anyway), "Yeah, I regularly go skiing in Whistler and hiking in Patagonia.  I definitely DIDN'T spend 14 hours this weekend watching Parks & Recreation on Netflix."

THUS: I am always on the look-out for unique maps.  Enter Below the Boat Topographic Maps (Prices vary, Below the Boat): hand-crafted, laser-cut wooden topographic maps of bodies of water and their surrounding areas from ALLLLLL over the world.  Notably missing is my hometown lake—Lake Ontario, but I won't bitch too hard.  The sea captain of my heart loves these maps no matter what. 

Thursday
Jan312013

[GIFTED] Migratory Patterns of Fresh Princes Poster

Literally everyone who is ages 20-35 can recite the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song verbatim. They don't make theme songs like that anymore, the kind that literally tell you the entire story of WTF is going on in the series. You'd turn it on and be all like, "What is this show about?" and all you'd have to do is listen to the theme song and you'd be all caught up. It's a beautiful thing.

That's why this Migratory Patterns of Fresh Princes Poster ($12, Pop Chart Lab) is so fantastic. It literally tracks the journey of the Fresh Prince from the ghettos of Philadelphia to the palatial palace of distant relatives in Bel Air.

What a Cinderella story. Smell ya later.

Tuesday
Jan152013

[GIFTED] Hearts & Crafts Painting

Your crafty friend's birthday is coming up.  She's the type who wears homemade dresses and spends weekend afternoons on yet another decoupage project.  She regularly brings you mason jars filled with homemade strawberry preserves, featuring her own hand-crafted label that says, "Kimberly's Jammin' Jams!!"  Her dream house will have an entire room devoted towards the pieces of yarn and scraps of paper she collects like a bird who is trying to build the most fabulous nest in the forest.  

You could attempt to make her a homemade present that would rival the ones that she's given you over the years, but we all know how that little project would turn out (you, covered in glitter, defeatedly dragging your ass into Target to pick up an iTunes gift card because you couldn't possibly give her the monstrosity you created).  

Instead, plan ahead and pick up this awesome Hearts & Crafts Painting ($75, Jesilli)—emblazoned with "Hearts & Crafts" and printed on a slice of old tree stump, it is PERFECT for her.  She'll love it so much and be pissed that she didn't come up with it first.  

Thursday
Nov082012

[GIFTED] Emergency Compliment

Hey, girl.  Sometimes you're feeling down on yourself.  Sometimes, everything goes wrong so consistently that you become suspicious as to whether the world is conspiring against you for that time in college where you stole a 6-pack from that mom and pop shop that didn't have security cameras. 

It's in those dire times that you need someone, ANYONE to tell you that you're not the worst person in the world.  They could be lying to you, for all you care.  You just need a little lift, PRONTO.  That's where Emergency Compliment comes in.  Featuring pick-me-ups like "Your cousins refer to you as 'the cool cousin,'" "People at trivia night are terrified of you," and "Your boss loved that thing you did at work today," you'll feel better within 45 seconds of visiting the site. 

If you need a daily affirmation (perhaps hung on the ceiling above your bed), you can buy prints of each compliment ($15 each, Society 6).  There, don't you feel better?  GOOD.  Stop being such a fucking cry baby.

Tuesday
Oct162012

[GIFTED] Let's Call the Whole Thing Off Print

Think back to ever significant romantic relationship you've ever been in. 

ACT I: You are fallng in love and you think everything they do is "cute."  His chronic lateness and razor blade sharp toenails are regarded as adorable.

ACT II: The honeymoon period is over, and everything that you thought was cute and adorable is now mildly irritating, but generally tolerable.

ACT III: You are deeply in love with this person, which also means you have a unique hatred of them. The formerly cute/formerly mildly annoying habits are now viewed as a personal affront.  He doesn't do the dishes not because he's lazy and hates doing dishes, he doesn't do the dishes because he doesn't appreciate you.  

Act IV is marriage, but somewhere in between Act III and Act IV you start arguing about stupid shit, mainly because you are offended by how differently he feels about something.  You can't believe he hates broccoli.  How are you in love with someone who won't eat vegetables?  How can you be in love with someone who pronounces potato the wrong way?  You are consistently on the verge of breaking up with him every five minutes, so this Let's Call the Whole Thing Off Print ($35, Monica Gifford) is more than appropriate.

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