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Entries in food (81)


[GIFTED] Pinnacle Pumpkin & Pecan Pie Vodkas

I know what you're thinking.  Flavored vodka is disgusting.  But listen up, mofos: the time for disgusting flavored vodkas is around the holidays.  Why?  Because of the following reasons:

1. HOLIDAYS ARE STRESSFUL: You have so much shit to do, so many places to go.  You're seeing your family a lot.  You need alcohol, and now is not the time to be picky.

2. EVERYONE WANTS TO BE FESTIVE: Only around the holidays can you be yelled at for "being lame" for opting for a simple beer instead of whatever crazy festive concoction the holiday party host cooked up.  

Try to be open-minded this season.  Pick up a few bottles of Pinnacle Pumpkin & Pecan Pie Vodka and make a few festive cocktails.  If you make them right, you won't be able to taste the alcohol, which means your uptight aunt who "doesn't drink" just might get super wasted and make things interesting.  Good luck out there.


[GIFTED] Legal Beverages 

Do you love the warm feeling of being intoxicated?  Who doesn't, right?  But beer can get boring.  You used to look forward to wine o'clock and now you're indifferent towards it.  Smoking weed feels too collegiate. What's next for your nights and weekends?  Meth?  Don't go there—think about your teeth (and your parents)!  

Enter Legal Beverages, the answer to your adult recreational prayers.  Legal Beverages are a variety of refreshments laced with marijuana extract.  Think of it as a "funny soda," and your weekends will get a lot better.  


[GIFTED] Rogue Farms Pumpkin Patch Ale 

Once Fall rolls around, we get inundated with pumpkin everything. Pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin lattes, babies dressed up as pumpkins, it gets a little MUCH, unless we're talking about pumpkin beers, and then that's never too much.

People who suffer through a summer of watery beers in anticpation of pumpkin beer season, are rewarded with a CORNUCOPIA of pumpkin beers to choose from, one of the best, of course, is from Oregon-based Rogue Farms.  Their Pumpkin Patch Ale is delicious and comes in a pumpkin-colored orange bottle, making it the most festive beer you can drink this Halloween.  


[GIFTED] The Chili Lab Chili Butters

Listen, everyone shows up to a housewarming party with a regifted bottle of wine.  It's always red wine, even in the summer, because that's what you're always gifted.  A $14 bottle of red wine.  Thanks for the .01% thought you put into my gift, asshole.  

Don't be that guy.  Instead, bring them something unique.  If the gift receiver loves to cook, but together a basket with different cooking acoutrements, including—but not limited to—these Chili Butters ($12, The Chili Lab).  They're made from natural ingredients to create either the best bread-and-butter experience you've ever had, or to utilize in cooking.     


[GIFTED] The Botanist Gin

If you have someone in your life who is an actual botanist, or just someone who is really, really into gardening, the The Botanist Gin will be the most appropos gift you can give to them.  

Crafted on the Isle of Islay in Scotland, the gin features 22—count 'em, 22—wild botanicals found locally on the island (hence the name).  Pretend you give a shit about plants and maybe they'll let you drink some of their gin with them.  It's a win/win situation.