10 years ago, Ugly Holiday Sweater Parties didn't exist. We all just wore ugly holiday sweaters unironically because our moms bought them for us and we thought they were festive. I remember in high school, some adorable but geeky and clueless kid who had yet to realize his own potential as an attractive human being wore a Christmas sweater with a reindeer on it and everyone made fun of him behind his back. I just saw that same sweater on J Crew's website for like $97. WHAT IS UGLY ANYMORE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
But anyway, the point is—Ugly Holiday Sweater Parties are now a thing. For the first one you got invited to, you indulged the myth that you'd be able to buy a hideous/hilarious sweater at the Salvation Army for 75 cents. Not true. It was never true. So you ended up having to go to the old lady section of JC Penney and drop $45 on something ugly with snowmen stitched on it just for the sake of a joke. Then, nobody threw an Ugly Holiday Sweater Party for a few years and you threw the sweater out when you moved, thinking, "I'm never gonna wear this again." Of course, right after you throw it away, one of your friends announces they're having an Ugly Holiday Sweater Party and you have to drag yourself BACK to JC Penney and get down with Alfred Dunner AGAIN.
But they're fun, right? OH WHAT FUN IT IS. Listen, instead of dropping your precious cash on ANOTHER ugly sweater you'll never wear again, wear a regular sweater and show up with a tray of these Ugly Holiday Sweater Cookies ($50, Harry & David). You're still participating, but 1.) you're not dressed like an asshole and 2.) everyone will love you for bringing theme-appropriate snacks.