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Entries in food (65)


[GIFTED] New York Food Maps

When you're visiting any iconic food city, there are a million places to get advice on where and what to eat.  Aside from the chorus of your friends telling you they had a "LIFE-CHANGING" meal at this place and "the best food evaaaaaaar" at that place, you've got the entirety of the internet, which is way too overwhelming. Eventually, you make a panicked choice and it's always hit or miss. 

For your next trip to NYC, take it offline and check out these New York Food Maps ($8 each, Flight 001), which provide analog advice on the very best doughnuts, burgers, and ramen in the City That Never Sleeps. 


[GIFTED] Gold Champagne Marshmallows

So you're planning a bridal shower for your sister.  This is stressful, not only because you it's your sister's BRIDAL SHOWER and you want it to be everything she always imagined it would be, but also because EVERYONE seems to have an opinion.  Your mom, your aunt, your grandma, your sister's friends, and even your sister, who asks you questions about minute details even though she keeps saying over and over again that she "doesn't want to be involved in the planning."   

OKAY.  Breathe.  There are a lot of elements you need to consider when planning a Bridal Shower, but paramount is the food and drinks.  Women pretend to act all dainty, but the truth is, all they care about is exactly how many truffles they'll be able to shove in their mouths and exactly much fizzy wine they'll be able to pour down their throats at this thing.  Just remember: SNACKS AND BOOZE.  BOOZE AND SNACKS.  

You'll be the hero of all Bridal Showerdom if you serve these Gold Champagne Marshmallows ($24, Wondermade), mainly because they are champagne-flavored marshmallows DIPPED IN EDIBLE GOLD.  Come on, now.  You're a champion.  


[GIFTED] Righteous Felon Jerky Care

ARTISANAL JERKY.  It's a thing.  A weird thing, yes, but a thing, no less.  When you were a kid, the only jerky that you knew about were gas station Slim Jims, and those don't even really count.  But now, you're seeing all of this fancy and EXPENSIVE jerky lining the shelves of specialty markets.  High-quality ingredients and cool packaging mean you can actually show up with jerky as a gift for someone without looking like some crazy derelict who just cruised their local 7/11 for "gifts" to bring to the party.

So, if you have a jerky afficionado in your life, introduce them to the Righteous Felon Jerky Cartel ($24), a company that says their jerky is "criminally crafted for unlawful appetites."  Each jerky is made with fresh, organic ingredients and are named after famous felons—Habanero Escobar, Chepotle Guevera, Victorious BIG, and the like.


[GIFTED] Thug Kitchen

You may have seen some of Thug Kitchen's brilliance on Facebook or Pinterest, where they serve up facts about healthy food like a motherfucking thug would (ie: "don't fuck around with some sorry-ass $10 take-out" or "sweet potatoes have a shitload of anti-oxidants and beta-carotene").  Now, the inevitable book—Thug Kitchen ($16, Amazon)—is here, and it's serving up 100 bad-ass recipes all made with the intention of eating like you give a fuck. 

It's perfect for anyone in your life who has ever been described as someone who "curses like a drunken sailor" or someone who is just a straight-up badass in the kitchen. 

Pre-order it now, it'lll be available in October.


[GIFTED] Hellfire Club Bloody Mary Mix

There are people who passively drink Bloody Marys at brunch every now and then because they like the idea of a Bloody Mary.  Then, there are people who actually LIKE Bloody Marys.  These are the people who are forever chasing the dragon of a good bloody mary because true Bloody Mary afficionados know that there are SO many things that can go wrong when someone makes a Bloody Mary. 

1. How it's served.  Most people will do the right thing and give you a Bloody Mary that's made-to-order.  But some places serve a Bloody Mary from a ready-made batch that's been hanging out in a pitcher full of ice for 45 minutes—typically seen at all-you-can-drink brunch places.  Who wants a watered-down Bloody Mary? Nobody. 

2. The mix.  Some prefer thin, some prefer thick.  Some prefer chunks of horseradish and fresh cracked black pepper, some prefer it smooth and factory-made.  Whatever your preference, you're pretty much guaranteed to be disappointed at least half the times you order one because the bartender's preference on mix won't match your own. 

3. Spiciness.  Same with the mix—some want their Bloody Mary to just have a tiny kick, others want to set their mouths on fire.  

4. Acoutrements.  As the artisanal cocktail movement has reached its fever pitch, bartenders have been given the freedom to serve you a cocktail with a bunch of bullshit sticking out of it.  A Bloody Mary has always been the perfect cocktail for doing just this, because it's probably the heartiest drink you can order outside of a milkshake.  But let's cool it, okay?  Can I eat a stalk of rosemary?  No.  A chunk of pepperoni?  YOU'RE DISGUSTING.  Celery, bro.  Stick to the celery.   

I think I've belabored the point enough—Bloody Marys are complicated mistresses.  That's why you always want to start with a quality base, like what you'll get with Hellfire Club Bloody Mary Mix ($28, Arrowhead Farms).  Buy this for yourself, bring it to a friend's BBQ along with a bottle of vodka—it's a party in a bottle.