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Entries in food (99)

Monday
Mar202017

Tipsy Scoop

We all have our vices, and if you're the type of person alternates between dessert and booze as your favored downfalls, you are going to FREAK OUT over Tipsy Scoop

What is it? You already know. Boozy ice cream, babies!  With flavors like Vanilla Bean Bourbon, Raspberry Limoncello Sorbet or Dark Chocolate Whiskey Salted Caramel, you'll never have to choose between getting buzzed or getting a sugar rush. 

Friday
Mar032017

Isle of Harris Gin 

Isle of Harris Gin looks a bottle that would wash up on the beach with a letter from a long lost love, but GET A GRIP, your long lost love has MOVED ON and is def not trying to send you a message in a bottle. There's an upside to your devastating heartbreak, though, and that's the fact that instead of being stuffed with a letter from someone you're still pining for, it's filled with delicious gin. Sweet liquor eases the pain. 

Also, Harris Distillers' logo looks exactly like Hillary Clinton's campaign logo, which makes me think/hope that Hillary has said, "fuck it," and started a distillery. Go on, girl. 

Monday
Feb062017

Veuve Cliq' Call 

When you first starting dating, you and your significant other couldn't IMAGINE spending Valentine's Day apart.  But then, as your relationship grew and life got busier, you realized that Valentine's Day really is just another day.  When you spend nearly every day with someone, taking a time out to celebrate your love on one specific day just because you're told you have to feels a lot like an obligation. Forced romance.... sexyyyyyyy.  

So, you and your partner decided long ago to not give into the Hallmark hysteria.  If you're feeling up to it, you can use it as an excuse to have a nice dinner together.  If you're busy, well, I'll see you tomorrow (and the next day, and the next day, and literally every day after that).  But if you aren't going to be in the same space as your beloved, a great gesture of your love would be to gift this newly-released Veuve Cliq' Call ($69, Veuve Clicquot), which features a bottle of champagne and a box that allows you to record a voice message.  It's almost like you're there.  Almost.  
Tuesday
Dec132016

Santa's Private Reserve Beer Briefcase

What kind of grown man wants cookies and milk over alcohol and cigarettes?  A WEIRD ONE.  Listen—we all know that Santa doesn't want your bullshit milk and your bullshit cookies.  If you spent all night flying all over the world delivering presents BY YOURSELF, you'd want a nice cold beer, not a goddamned glass of milk that's probably curdled because little Cindy Loo Who put it on the fireplace 6 hours ago.  

That's why this Santa's Private Reserve Beer Briefcase ($75, Give Them Beer) is perfect to leave out for Santa this year.  And, since mom and dad end up eating the cookies and drinking the milk to carry on the lie that they've told their children, they will absolutely love to play Santa and drink this stuff after a long night of wrapping presents that they get zero credit for buying.  Thanks, Santa. 

Wednesday
Nov302016

Gifts for Coffee Addicts

If you are an adult, it's almost guaranteed that you're addicted to caffeine.  Being an adult (or, as the kids say it #adulting) is exhausting, and since it's not socially acceptable to drink alcohol all day long, we spend hours each day sipping on a steady stream of caffeine to keep us awake and functioning, typically in the form of coffee.  So, if we're all addicted to coffee, what's the difference between a true coffee addict and everyone else that's just trying to get through the day?

It's all about consumption, baby.  Normal people have maybe two or three cups of coffee a day.  Coffee addicts have an indeterminable amount of cups of coffee a day—and it's "indeterminable" only because coffee addicts know they shouldn't have 10 cups of coffee a day so they won't cop to it.  Normal people are okay with getting their caffeine from other sources (tea, soda, energy drinks, etc), but coffee addicts are content with coffee and only coffee, til the day their hearts explode.

So, for the jittery people in our lives, we've rounded up the best coffee-centric products out there. Read it on Parade.