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Entries in gifted (643)

Wednesday
Oct232013

[GIFTED] Wondermade Pumpkin Pie Marshmallows

As I have opined before, Fall breezes in and suddenly everything is pumpkin-flavored.  Your coffee, your dessert, your beer, your love life—everything. is. pumpkin.  But, quick economics lesson: pumpkin-flavored shit wouldn't be as ubiquitous as it is if people weren't buying it.  I bet you know a bunch of scarf-and-boot wearing woo girls who would FLIP their shit if you bought them a box of these Wondermade Pumpkin Pie Marshmallows ($8.50, Mouth)

Bring them into your office one idle Wednesday afternoon.  You will be the hero of the day. 

Monday
Oct212013

[GIFTED] Boo Cubes Ice Tray

Have you ever looked at the drink in your hand and thought to yourself, "Hey, this drink could definitely be scarier."  Then, of course, you added more and more tequila and the drink and YOU became very, very scary indeed.  Put down the bottle of tequila and instead add some scary to your drink with this Boo Cubes Ice Tray (Fred & Friends)

Imagine how fun it will be to get obnoxiously drunk and scream, "HEY GUYS, MY DRINK IS HAUNTED" over and over again until someone punches you in the face to get you to shut up.

Friday
Oct182013

[GIFTED] Raven Candlestick Holders

QUOTH THE RAVEN (Simone): Ravens are fucking creepy. My freshman year in college, I had to write a 20-page research paper on the mythological significance of ravens and they literally are regarded as harbingers of doom and/or death.  Moral of the story: you see a raven, you are fucked.  Better get your affairs in order. 

That's why these Raven Candlestick Holders ($25, Williams-Sonoma) make perfect Halloween decorations, or perfect anytime decorations, if you are a creep.  

Thursday
Oct172013

[GIFTED] Sweet Spirits Sugar Shaker

It's almost Halloween (I'm just going to open every post with this line from now on) and your mother is doing what she usually does—decking out every inch of the house in Halloween decor.  There's Halloween window decals, plastic light-up jack-o-lanterns lining the staircase, and a Halloween tree, which doesn't make any sense.  Everything is Halloween-themed, even the dog who has been forced to wear a witch costume since October 1st.  

That's why this Sweet Spirits Sugar Shaker (Fred & Friends) will fit in perfectly with mom's over-the-top Halloween house.  And despite all of her spooky decor.  You know what's the scariest thing?  Her blood sugar levels (LOL I made a diabetes joke)!  Maybe this thing should be for display only. 

Wednesday
Oct162013

[GIFTED] Boo! Onesie

What's scarier than kids?  NOTHING.  Guess we're all not infantile adults who are afraid of responsibility, because people are having kids all of the time.  Like, people your age.  People you GRADUATED with.  You'll get a friend request from a random girl you went to high school with and she has not one but TWO kids.  That's right, when you were drinking your face off and having drunk sing-a-longs to "The Edge of Glory" in a cab on the way to Brooklyn, this girl was giving birth to another living thing.

Give this Boo! Onesie ($20, Gap) to your new mom friend and then list off the things that are terrifying about children like:

1. One day they'll go to college and you'll have to trust them to not drink so much they'll die.

2. One day they'll go to college and you have to pay for it.

3. One day they'll get married.

4. One day they'll have their own children.

5. They'll have to take care of YOU.     

Happy Halloween—have fun wrestling that kid into a pumpkin costume while it lasts!