When you were in college, your favorite nights at the bars was when some beer company was doing a promotion. The Miller Light Girls or Bud Light Girls or whatever-cheap-beer-girls would swarm around, giving you free worthless branded merchandise if you were drinking their brand of beer. A keychain, a beaded necklace, an XXL t-shirt (a size that will "fit" everyone!), or perhaps the most interactive—a branded beer koozie.
Because you were drunk, you thought it would be funny to immediately truss your beer up in the free koozie you just received. Funny? Sort of. But back then, you were drinking like a monster and you were drinking watery beer, so you finished each bottle in approximately 5 minutes. Then, you were forced with the task of giving your beer an "outfit change" every time you traded in an empty bottle for a full one. "IT'S SO ANNOYING WHEN YOUR BEER WEARS CLOTHES" you would yell.
You threw away all of your free beer merch long ago, of course, when you moved into a tiny apartment where space is a commodity and you simply didn't have room for 32 oversized beer t-shirts that you never wear and 15 beer koozies that you literally have never used. Your taste in beer got more refined once you were able to afford more expensive beer and you weren't drinking 12 of them per night. You go to the local bottle shop and buy growlers of craft beer that you take to a friend's house. You have two beers and go home because you are an ADULT and you can't drink like you used to. You love buying growlers because it makes you feel more hip than the guy that still shows up to a party with a six-pack of Corona. That's why you deserve this Leather Beer Growler Cover ($80, Pedal Happy). Now that you're older, it's not annoying when your beer wears clothes. It's a statement.