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Entries in gifted (639)

Wednesday
Oct162013

[GIFTED] Boo! Onesie

What's scarier than kids?  NOTHING.  Guess we're all not infantile adults who are afraid of responsibility, because people are having kids all of the time.  Like, people your age.  People you GRADUATED with.  You'll get a friend request from a random girl you went to high school with and she has not one but TWO kids.  That's right, when you were drinking your face off and having drunk sing-a-longs to "The Edge of Glory" in a cab on the way to Brooklyn, this girl was giving birth to another living thing.

Give this Boo! Onesie ($20, Gap) to your new mom friend and then list off the things that are terrifying about children like:

1. One day they'll go to college and you'll have to trust them to not drink so much they'll die.

2. One day they'll go to college and you have to pay for it.

3. One day they'll get married.

4. One day they'll have their own children.

5. They'll have to take care of YOU.     

Happy Halloween—have fun wrestling that kid into a pumpkin costume while it lasts!

Friday
Oct112013

[GIFTED] Stole My Heart Tote

Straight up—living in New York City is hard.  You spend all day literally fighting with everyone over SPACE.  Space on the subway, space on the sidewalk, space in the tiny Dunkin Donuts where you get your coffee, space in your open-plan office where there's not even a room with a door that you can close and cry in. 

You're fighting for space in your apartment with your significant other, finding yourself shouting, "WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY BOOKS YOU NEVER READ AND SHOES YOU NEVER WEAR?"  Every item they bring into the apartment is a personal affront.  You find yourself playing the "Well, where are we going to put this?" game way too often.  You're fighting for space in your own goddamned bed at night because you don't have a bedroom that's big enough for a genuine Queen-sized mattress so you trick yourself into thinking that your Full-sized mattress is big enough for two adult people to sleep in (it's not).  It's a wonder the murder rate isn't higher in this city.  

And that's why us gentrification pioneers have taken to the outerboroughs, where there's a bit more room to breathe and live in.  We get off the subway in Brooklyn and relax just a little bit, because we're home.  This dirty borough with its artisanal pickles and d-bags in horn-rimmed glasses has gotten us, all right, as we shrug as rents go up because we couldn't imagine ever leaving.

This Stole My Heart Tote ($32, Bottled Brooklyn) sums this up perfectly. 

Thursday
Oct102013

[GIFTED] Gold Striped Thank You Cards

We're a generation of ungrateful jerks.  Time Magazine has established this.  Don't play into this stereotype.  Don't expect to get a job because you just graduated with a Communications degree and you're under the impression that that makes you special.  It doesn't.

Buy a pack of these classic, Gatsby-esque Gold Striped Thank You Cards ($18 for set of 8, Artsy Modern) and send grateful, handwritten thank you notes.  Everyone older than you will be impressed.  Everyone your age will get pissed at you for "making them look bad."  Don't worry about it.  They make themselves look bad.

Tuesday
Oct082013

[GIFTED] DIY Mustard Kit 

If you've got a whimsical, Zooey Deschanel-type friend who likes to make her own dresses and strawberry jams, then this DIY Mustard Kit ($15, Brooklyn DIY Supply) is the gift for her.  It comes with everything she'll need to whip up her own jar of bespoke mustard—seeds, powder, brown sugar, and more. 

Monday
Oct072013

[GIFTED] Sunday Funday T-Shirt

Most people think that Sunday Fundays are for people in college.  Those people are DEAD WRONG.  Sunday Fundays are for young working professionals, or for dads who have escaped their wife and children for a few hours of unsupervised drinking on a Sunday afternoon. You might think it's ridiculous to think that a full-grown adult with responsibilites would partake in an activity where you drink away a perfectly good Sunday afternoon, allow me to explain the benefits of Sunday Fundays, and why they would appeal to someone who's got shit to do:

1. You start early.  Most Sunday Fundays start organically, at brunch.  You have a few mimosas and you're feelin' fine.  You look at your watch, and it's only 12:30.  You don't want to lose this nice feeling, so you suggest you take it to a bar for a "few beers."  Things devolve from there (in the best kind of way).

2. You end early. Even the CRAZIEST Sunday Fundays end around 8 or 9pm AT THE LATEST, which means you can go promptly to bed, get a great night's sleep, and start your week off fresh and relaxed.

Gift this Sunday Funday T-Shirt ($20, DSF Clothing Company) to any member of the Sunday Funday congregation.