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Entries in gifted (686)

Thursday
Jan232014

[GIFTED] Leather Beer Growler Cover

When you were in college, your favorite nights at the bars was when some beer company was doing a promotion.  The Miller Light Girls or Bud Light Girls or whatever-cheap-beer-girls would swarm around, giving you free worthless branded merchandise if you were drinking their brand of beer.  A keychain, a beaded necklace, an XXL t-shirt (a size that will "fit" everyone!), or perhaps the most interactive—a branded beer koozie.  

Because you were drunk, you thought it would be funny to immediately truss your beer up in the free koozie you just received.  Funny?  Sort of.  But back then, you were drinking like a monster and you were drinking watery beer, so you finished each bottle in approximately 5 minutes.  Then, you were forced with the task of giving your beer an "outfit change" every time you traded in an empty bottle for a full one. "IT'S SO ANNOYING WHEN YOUR BEER WEARS CLOTHES" you would yell.     

You threw away all of your free beer merch long ago, of course, when you moved into a tiny apartment where space is a commodity and you simply didn't have room for 32 oversized beer t-shirts that you never wear and 15 beer koozies that you literally have never used.  Your taste in beer got more refined once you were able to afford more expensive beer and you weren't drinking 12 of them per night.  You go to the local bottle shop and buy growlers of craft beer that you take to a friend's house.  You have two beers and go home because you are an ADULT and you can't drink like you used to.  You love buying growlers because it makes you feel more hip than the guy that still shows up to a party with a six-pack of Corona.  That's why you deserve this Leather Beer Growler Cover ($80, Pedal Happy). Now that you're older, it's not annoying when your beer wears clothes.  It's a statement.  

Wednesday
Jan222014

[GIFTED] The World is Your Oyster Globe

You have a cousin who is graduating from college.  They're still all cute and smiley because their dreams haven't been crushed by the weight of the world yet.  

They'll gleefully tell you about all of the things they're going to do.  "Tell me about your five year plan, again" you'll drunkenly say at their graduation party.  It's cute and also sad because you remember when you were that way.  So much hope, so much ENERGY.  Now, your only "dream" involves a weekend where you meld into your couch and don't have to talk to anyone or answer one work email.

Don't piss on their happiness yet.  They'll figure it out soon enough, and join you at the next family party—close to the drink table—to bitch about work and their landlord and stupid kids.  In the meantime, get them this The World is Your Oyster Globe ($215, Wild & Free Designs).  It'll look great on their desk in their apartment until they smash it one night when they realize that someone with half their talent is making twice their salary.  

Monday
Jan202014

[GIFTED] Celine Geometrical Handbag

Do you know a very fashionable woman?  ARE you a very fashionable woman?  Get out of here, then, there's no room for fancies around here!  Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding.  If you want to buy a bag that's guaranteed to earn you, "Oh my God, I love your bag!" compliments from co-workers, friends, and random people in the coffee shop and on the subway, look no further than this Celine Geometrical Handbag, which is unique in pretty much every way. 

Friday
Jan172014

[GIFTED] Beer & Food Calendar

It's January 17, so you probably already gave up your New Year's resolution to stop eating so poorly and drinking like an Irishman.  It's okay.  Breaking promises to ourselves is what we humans do the best, amiright?  

Pick up this Beer & Food Calendar ($24, RedCruiser) to keep track of the rest of the days you have left in 2014, where you won't be committed to self-improvement either.  The beautifully illustrated calendar features a new food and beer pairing each month, ensuring that all you're going to want to eat in July is hot dogs.

Thursday
Jan162014

[GIFTED] Crop It Like It's Hot T-Shirt

Here's to the designers: the people who wanted to be painters or sculptors but then discovered that selling second-rate pottery and watercolor paintings on Etsy doesn't provide a great living and decided to become a graphic designer.  A graphic designer can design a whole bunch of things, but most often, they are designing ads that everyone hates and pamphlets that no one will read.  This is soul-crushing for the former artist whose dreams have died.  They have to endure a million idiotic requests every day—from the typical client request of "making the logo bigger" to having to explain to a sales executive that no, they can't "Photoshop that out." 

Buy the beleagured designer this Crop It Like It's Hot T-Shirt ($24, The Unrefinery) to make him laugh and laugh and laugh while he's sitting at his desk, working on yet another comp.