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Entries in gifted (651)

Tuesday
Nov052013

[GIFTED] Bacchanal Pepper Sauce

At least one of the dumb men in your life has a hot sauce obsession. Part of it is because he genuinely enjoys spicy food, but the larger, stupider part is that he sees the amount of heat he can tolerate as a direct line to how manly he is, as if some girl in a bar is going to see him eating wings doused in a laughable amount of the spiciest hot sauce available and think, "Now there's a REAL man. THERE'S the future father of my children."

Please. Women don't care about that crap. In fact, once a woman hits 30, she observes some dude conducting yet another hot sauce eating competition and all she sees is a future of having to carry around a giant bottle of Pepcid AC in her purse for her dumbass husband who literally burned away his stomach lining in his 20's and can no longer eat "spicy" food, like pizza.

So, how do you help your idiot friend continue to enjoy spicy food while not catching eye rolls from every potential future girlfriend in the bar? Pick him up a bottle of Bacchanal Pepper Sauce ($11), which packs heat while still packing flavor (namely scotch bonnet peppers, habaneros, pineapple, papaya, ginger, lime, cilantro, and way more delicious ingredients), making him look like his interests lie more towards the epicurean than the frat house.

Monday
Nov042013

[GIFTED] Whale Wood Tongs

Have you ever been prepping for a dinner party, thinking, "You know what would really make this whole thing be REALLY great?  If my cooking utensils were more nautical."  Well, never fear.  You can toss a salad (in the LITERAL, non-sexual sense) with these Whale Wood Tongs ($50, Horne).  Maybe a watercress salad.  WATERcress, get it?

Friday
Nov012013

[GIFTED] Fetch Dog Toys

Unfortunately for you, your dog wants to eat all of the things that are important to you.  Your expensive leather shoes.  The legs of your coffee table.  Your dinner.  EVERYTHING in your purse if you were stupid enough to leave it on the floor or the couch. 

So rather than giving him a toy that looks like a monkey or something stupid, pick him up some of these Fetch Dog Toys ($8, ORE Pets) that looks like actual objects that he WANTS to eat.  Like that big, juicy cheeseburger hanging out on your dinner plate.    

Thursday
Oct312013

[GIFTED] Urchin Bowls

Happy Halloween, mofos!  I'm running out of things to say about Halloween, so how about this: wouldn't a bunch of Halloween M&MS look FABULOUS in these handmade Urchin Bowls ($95, Meg Biram) they're spiky and creepy, making them perfect for Halloween, but also nice enough that they could also be introduced into your regular decor.  Bonus: it can also double as weapon when you're really pissed at your husband.

Wednesday
Oct302013

[GIFTED] Hunger Games Chocolate Sets

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire doesn’t premiere until November 22, but every crazy girl is already torqued up for the second movie of the series.  They're obsessively posting the trailer on their Facebook page.  They've changed their profile picture to a picture of Katniss Everdeen wielding a crossbow.  They've started stalking Jennifer Lawrence.  You're worried about them, legitimately.

So, try to sate their hunger for The Hunger Games (see what did there?) with these two collector’s sets from Vosges Haut-Chocolat and Wild Ophelia:

Wild Ophelia & The Hunger Games Chocolate Bar Library ($65) offers up 12 full-size chocolate bars that represent all 12 Districts of Panem in name and in flavors, from Katniss’ home district—Mining (mined salt and milk chocolate)—to Livestock (beef jerky, smoked mesquite, and milk chocolate), Grain (milled oats, vanilla hemp seeds, and dark chocolate), and more, all presented in a library gift box emblazoned with the emblems of each district.

Vosges Haut-Chocolat Capitol Truffle Collection ($225) represents the unbridled luxury seen at the Capitol that’s shown, in deep contrast from the poverty-striken outer districts where Katniss and Peeta live. The set includes 16 different whimsical truffles (in sets of two, providing opportunity for a shared tasting of each flavor) crafted in delicious combinations (coconut, banana, dark chocolate, and coconut charcoal ash, to name one flavor), that are positioned atop compartments that include treasures (vials of crushed violet petals, pearl dust, gold leaf, and and more) accompanied by detailed mixology instructions to create decadent libations.

MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR, WEIRDOS.