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Entries in gifted (1010)

Wednesday
Jan272016

[GIFTED] A Carlin Home Companion

George Carlin is an undisputed comedy legend, but with most legends, there's a lot of shit attributed here and attributed there that just isn't true.  So that's why A Carlin Home Companion ($16, Amazon) will be invaluable to rabid Carlin fans.  Written by his only child Kelly, it's a memoir written by someone who was there for everything—from the shitty comedy club gigs Carlin endured in the early days to his runaway success in the 70s (he even hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live, ever), and his battles with drugs and alcohol throughout all of it.  It's funny, touching, and gives up all the dirt without becoming an iteration of Mommie Dearest.  

Monday
Jan252016

[GIFTED] You Better Have Pizza Doormat 

This You Better Have Pizza Doormat ($45, Lulu & Georgia) is a way for new homeowners to show off how hillllllllarious they are to new neighbors or visitors, but truthfully, I like to think of it as ALSO a way to menace assorted delivery people. 

"YOU BETTER HAVE PIZZA" might be a funny thing for your friends or your mom or the pizza delivery guy to read as they're waiting for you to come to the door, but the Chinese delivery guy?  The sushi delivery guy?  The exterminator?  It'll throw 'em off their game a bit, and if you're the type of person who wants to make people feel a little unsettled before they step into your home, this is the doormat for you. 

Thursday
Jan212016

[GIFTED] Group Text T-Shirt

If you saw this Group Text T-Shirt ($28, Buy Me Brunch) and laughed out loud, we're all on the same page.  Sure, group texts can be great—they make sense for pure logistics.  If you're trying to corral a huge group of people to make plans, group text is an essential tool.  Group texts can also be hilarious if a bunch of friends are using it to reminisce about something that happened or make fun of a person from your past that you all hate. 

HOWEVER, even if you've got a group text going with people that you love, they almost always go on too long.  One person will always keep it going wayyyyy longer than the conversation demands.  Another person (typically your father or mother) will not understand the concept of a group text and will text everyone when they really just need to contact one person who's on the group test. 

You'll get out of a long meeting or wake up in the morning to 30 text messages feel panic rush over you.  DID SOMEONE DIE?  WHO DO I NEED TO CALL?  WHAT PLANE DO I NEED TO GET ON?  Then you realize it's the neverending text message from hell, and you just get annoyed.  ENOUGH, ALREADY.  But you can't say anything, because you don't want to come off as an asshole when literally everyone is watching.  So you ghost out of the conversation, hoping that the one person who always keeps it going will either realize that everyone has stopped responding to her or get hit by a BUS or something, anything to end the madness.  She doesn't get it.  It'll never stop.  It'll go on like this forever.  Buy this shirt and get used to it.  Or, change your number. 

Tuesday
Jan192016

[GIFTED] No Way Emoji Framed Prints

Think back to five years ago.  We were texting without emojis.  We were FLYING BLIND. The only people who used smiley faces were our mothers, and even then, they were spelled out, AOL chat room style, like this: :), ;), >:(.  There was no way to accurately convey our enthusiasm for going out drinking (beer and wine emojis, coupled with the two girls dancing or that mysterious lady in the red dress repeated 17 times) or just how murderous we felt about our jobs (the knife and gun emojis).

Now, almost everyone uses emojis, even if it's just every once in awhile.  But there are some people (you know who you are) who take emojis overboard, and for those people, it only makes sense for them to be in possesion of these No Way Emoji Framed Prints ($32, Furbish Studio), which are honest-to-God watercolor renderings of emoji greatest hits.  For the girl who uses an emoji in every single text she sends, even if it's when she's giving you directions to her apartment or telling you her grandmother died, these are the perfect gift.      

Thursday
Jan142016

[GIFTED] Project Repat T-Shirt Quilts

We've all struggled with this: you have 700 t-shirts.  They take up an obscene amount of space in your home.  Merge them with your significant other's ludicrous t-shirt collection and you have PILES of shirts you never wear but can't bear to part with.   

Inevitably, whenever you try to whittle down the number of t-shirts you have, you come to a standstill.  "I can't get rid of this one, it's from a Bar Crawl I did my senior year of college!" you'll protest.  "Well, I'm not getting rid of this one, this is a shirt commemorating the Dallas Cowboys' 1994 Super Bowl win," he'll say. Sports fans and fraternity/sorority members are especially notorious for owning a ridiculously large collection of t-shirts that they refuse to get rid of.  

Enter Project Repat with a solution: Starting at $75, they take your old t-shirts and turn them into a quilt. You gain drawer space without losing all of your precious memories.  They'll take whatever t-shirts you give them, but the best quilts are created with a theme in mind—all of your sorority t-shirts, sports t-shirts, band t-shirts, and the like.   

Turnaround time is about 4 weeks—order now and it'll make a great Valentine's Day gift for you to snuggle up with.  Who doesn't want to cuddle up with a quilt made out of t-shirt material?  Nobody.