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Entries in gifted (692)

Tuesday
Feb042014

[GIFTED] Single on Valentine's Day Card

Let's be honest: being single on Valentine's Day blows.  Sure, you can wrap yourself in the blanket of "This is a fake holiday manufactured to sell Hallmark cards and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate,"—which is all true—but even the most cynical person will feel pangs of loneliness when they see everyone at the office getting flower deliveries and talk incessantly about their Valentine's Day plans.  

This kind of thing can cause your single friends to get panicky.  "Maybe I've been too picky," they'll lament to you.  You see the look in their eye that says "I just want to be with someone, ANYONE, I have no standards anymore."  As her friend, it's your job to head this feeling off, QUICKLY.  Just because she feels the urge to couple up doesn't mean she should do it with the first douchebag to approach her at the bar.

Help her through it with this very, very appropos Single on Valentine's Day Card ($5, Emily McDowell Draws).  It sets off a huge truth bomb for your friend, gives her some perspective, and ALSO gives her a card to open on Valentine's Day that's not from her mom.  Wonderful.

Monday
Feb032014

[GIFTED] Ron Swanson Breakfast Mug

When you first start dating someone, you romanticize the idea of waking up next to them every morning. "Oh, it'll be so great to roll over and see your smiling face every day for the rest of eternity," you said.

When you actually DO get to this point in your relationship, it's never as romantic as you thought it would be.  You wake up, bleary-eyed and generally pissed to be alive.  Your hair is a rat's nest, and your breath smells like garbage.  You haven't eaten in 12 hours so you're decidedly hangry and want to eat everything in sight.  How lucky is your partner that they get to witness you in this state every morning for the rest of your life?! 

Weekend mornings, of course, are better.  You look and smell the same, but you're less grumpy because you're waking up later and don't have to go to work.  You can ditch your usual healthy breakfast of Greek yogurt and sadness and eat something you'd actually enjoy, like all of the bacon and eggs you have in your fridge.

In honor of your weekend ritual (and in honor of Valentine's Day), cook up a Ron Swanson-worthy breakfast, fill this Ron Swanson Breakfast Mug ($16, Peachy Apricot) with [black] coffee, and serve it to your significant other in bed.  It says, "I love you, let's eat so much we go into a food coma, and then fall asleep again."  Best. Valentine's Day.  Ever.

Friday
Jan312014

[GIFTED] Custom Waveform Necklace

Every year around Valentine's Day (and the holidays, of course), car and jewelry companies try to convince you that the very best way to say "I love you" is by giving someone a new car with a big red bow on it or some gaudy charm bracelet.  You know what's another great way to say "I love you?"  VERBALLY.  You know, out of your mouth, to the other person's face/ears.  TRY IT SOMETIME.  

Instead of acting like a stock broker and buying your wife a Lexus and leave on a business trip for 27 days, how about you look into this Custom Waveform Necklace ($48, David Bizer)?  You can upload a recording of your voice, saying anything meaningful in your relationship ("I love you," "I miss you," "Where's the remote?," "Don't you dare watch House of Cards without me," etc), and artist David Bizer will convert the waveform of your audio recording into a necklace.  Technology meets thoughtfulness.    

Thursday
Jan302014

[GIFTED] Diamond Cookie Cutter

Hey, here's a Diamond Cookie Cutter ($10, Printmeneer)!  It's perfect for two scenarios:

1. It's Valentine's Day and You're Afraid of Commitment: You love your girlfriend, but you're not ready to get married.  You're not going to Jared.  Maybe not for a couple years.  Maybe not ever.  Who knows?  It's fine (for now).  Bake her diamond-shaped cookies and tell her that you WISH you could afford to buy her a dozen diamonds, but gee whiz, these 12 diamond-shaped cookies are just gonna have to do for now!  She'll think you're sweet and romantic, you'll only have to spend about $20 on the cookie cutter and cooking supplies, and she'll ALSO be very happy to be able to eat cookies.   

2. You're Throwing a Wedding Shower for Your Friend: OMG DIAMOND-SHAPED COOKIES AT THE WEDDING SHOWER, YOU ARE THE BEST MAID OF HONOR EVAARRRRRRRRRRRR.

Wednesday
Jan292014

[GIFTED] East Coast/West Coast T-Shirts

The rivalry between the East Coast and the West Coast has existed way before Biggie and Tupac ever made it a thing.  West Coasters think East Coasters are perpetual downers—uptight, scarf-wearing, pseudo-intellectuals who are too busy trying to work to have time to LIVE.  East Coasters think West Coasters are idiots—too-relaxed, surfboard-owning, plastic surgery-having, empty-headed star fuckers. 

Forget rappers—the East Coast is Matthew Broderick, the West Coast is Matthew McConaughey.  BUT—stereotypes exist for a reason, and there's just as much truth as there is non-truths in both stances.  So, whatever side you're on, express your pride with these East Coast and West Coast T-Shirts ($24 each, Print Liberation).  Just don't SHOOT ANYONE while wearing these.  Let's all just relax for a second, all right?