[GIFTED] Harry's Shave Stuff

Think about your boyfriend's shaving system for a second.  Does it include a crusty Gillette razor?  A rusted can of shaving cream?  A towel whose cleanliness is extremely questionable?  Since a man's shaving kit is the equivalent of a woman's make-up bag, you know that shit is DISGUSTING.  

Upgrade his current system to The Winston Set ($25, Harry's Shave Set)—it includes a beautiful, handcrafted chrome razor handle, three premium spare blades, and a tube of shave cream—and throw that other shit out.  He'll thank you, I promise.   

[GIFTED] Chris Jarratt Slingshot

Kids these days are perennially attached to electronics.  The other day, I saw two 4-year-old twins, each with their own iPads.  We've got six-year-olds with Blackberries.  Enough already.  

It's time to introduced these kids to the original video game: a goddamned slingshot.  The Chris Jarratt Slingshot ($27, Not Another Bill) is a reimagined design of the old standby favored by Dennis the Menace and Bart Simpson.  Available in 5 neon colors, it'll get kids unplugged and will also give them a weapon, which is great for all of the bullying that happens in school nowadays, right?  LOL I'M JOKING.         

[GIFTED] Java Jr. Coffee Creamer

Sure, you can buy coffee every day rather than making it in your house and carrying it with you on your commute in one of those dorky travel mugs, but it's not as fun as getting a $7 latte from your local coffee shop, and CERTAINLY not as enjoyable as being served by a surly waitress at your favorite diner. 

Now you can replicate that experience with Java Jr. Coffee Creamer ($14, Gamago)—an all-purpose pitcher shaped like those classic coffee creamers from the least classy restaurants of your past (or present).  Just don't tell Flo about it—she'll think you stole it.   

[GIFTED] PieBox

All right, picture it: it's Saturday.  You're going to a friend's dinner party.  You are making dessert because that is the only thing she will allow you to bring/it's the only thing you can manage to make.  How do you carry your precious, fragile pie on the subway, on your bike, or in the back of your Chevy Nova without it getting damaged somehow?

You can't very well show up to the dinner party with a half-smashed pie (that would be a great name for a band—someone tell Andy Dwyer)—you want impress all of the women you hate.  You want them to love what you baked so much they choke on it, and presentation is EVERYTHING.  

Protect your pie with PieBox ($35, PieBox), a handcrafted pine box made to transport pie and other flat food items (a quiche, perhaps?).  It's the classier, more twee version of those plastic cake boxes with the handle that you can buy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. 

[GIFTED] Late Greats Doll

Kids are given a lot of insipid things to play with, ESPECIALLY when it comes to dolls.  Mattell can make all of the "Neurosurgeon Barbies" they want, but she still exists to show little girls how fantastic it is to be vapid (Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream).

Inject some substance into your favorite kid's playtime with Late Greats Dolls ($34), which are stuffed dolls made in the likeness of importance figures of days past.  

How awesome would it be to see a kid dragging a stuffed Abraham Lincoln around the playground? How great would it be to see a little girl curled up with her Harriet Tubman doll at bedtime?  How fucking fantastic would it be to see a toddler throwing a tantrum because they can't find their Thomas Jefferson doll?  YOU CAN MAKE ALL OF THIS SHIT HAPPEN.  IT IS GREAT TO BE ALIVE.   

Just keep the kids away from the Benjamin Franklin doll.  He was a real creep.