So you're adult enough to want to send out Christmas cards but you're not SO adult that you have a cadre of kids to feature on photo cards? We've got the perfect in-betweener for you: Merry Cast of Christmas Characters Cards ($30 for 8, Pop Chart Lab).
Featuring the merry faces of characters from iconic Christmas movies (Bill Murray in Scrooged, Bruce Willis in Die Hard, Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone, and more), everyone will delight in holiday nostalgia when they open this card from. PROTIP: write in the lines from the movies as your message, so you don't have to fill people in on your year (ie: still single, still at the same job, still shouldering massive student loan debt, still depressed over the election results, etc). Here are a few suggestions:
To your brother: Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
To your mom & dad: SANTA?! I KNOW HIM!
To your great aunt: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! (JKJKJKJK)