[GIFTED] Brolly Umbrella

Because we are all completely ADDICTED to our iPhones, manufacturers have started creating products that allow us to use our phones regardless of what situation we're in.  Out in the cold and don't want to take your gloves off to send a text message?  BAM—we now have those semi-functioning gloves with something built into the fingers that allow us to use a touch screen without removing our gloves.  

Those gloves help with cold weather, but what about when it's raining (which, I guess is now ALL THE TIME if you live in the Northeast)?  How could you possibly function walking around in the rain without checking your email?

The Brolly Umbrella ($19.95, Brolly) has swooped in and solved this problem.  The Brolly looks like someone jammed brass knuckles onto the end of a regular umbrella, but what it does is allow you to hold your umbrella and your phone in one hand, using your free hand to furiously text your boyfriend to tell him that you got caught in the rain and your shoes are ruined.

[GIFTED] Claudia Pearson Dog Plates

Two ways to ensure your summer BBQ is hilarious:

1. Make sure there is ample beer and tequila. Tequila makes everyone act like an asshole, so, if you're lucky, drunken hilarity will ensue instead of a fistfight (Tequila has, of course, been known to cause both of those things quite frequently).

2. Serve your food on these Claudia Pearson Dog Plates ($16 each, West Elm). You can make jokes about somebody wanting a "hot dog" and everyone can laugh and laugh until they puke.

Fun times.

[GIFTED] Oscar Mayer Bacon Gift Sets

Whichever social media hack over at Oscar Mayer that came up with this gimmick must be laughing and laughing at their cubicle right now.  Tasked with the responsibility of how to convince people to give the gift of BACON—and not artisanal, fancy bacon, just plain old, plastic-wrapped Oscar Mayer bacon—he or she probably joked to someone that they should just put it in a gift box and sell it with a bonus "manly" prize, like a money clip or a utility knife.  Then, they couldn't believe it when it was actually approved. 

And here we are: you can now (for a limited time, of course) buy your father an Oscar Mayer Bacon gift set (starting at $22) for Father's Day.  Choose between the Commander (bacon with money clip), the Matador (bacon with bacon-shaped cufflinks), and the Woodsman (bacon with utility knife).  I'm sure your dad will pretend to love it.  Then make everyone bacon and eggs. 

[GIFTED] American Vintage Beer Biscuits

When you were a kid, you were a bit foggy on what it meant to be a man.  A moustache?  Tubesocks?  A wood-paneled Station Wagon?  (If you grew up in the 80's, that is).  All of those things were dubious, but when you were younger, you knew that the absolute height of manliness happened when your father sat down in front of the TV with a frosted beer mug, a bowl of pretzels, and turned on some sports.  

Dads love sports and beer and snacks.  It's a given.  This year, why not persaude your dad to trade in his old standby pretzels for something a bit more fancy?  These Beer Biscuits ($5.49 each, American Vintage).  They're handcrafted and made with beer (really), and come in Dad-approved flavors like Pizza and Smoky Chipotle & Lime (in mild and hot).   

[GIFTED] Saturdays NYC Blend No. 1

Coffee: fuel for Dads who don't have cocaine habits.  JK JK JK, but SERIOUSLY.  You slurp down 42 cups of coffee even though you're single, you live alone, and the only responsibility you have is to show up at work and maybe go for drinks with your friends on a Friday and dodgeball league on Saturday. 

Caffeine was made for the dads who work all day, only to come how to two daughters who are fighting with each other and a wife who is starved of romance.  His Saturdays aren't for brunching and laying about—they're for yardwork and retiling the bathroom. 

That's why this Blend No. 1 ($13.50, Saturdays NYC) is the perfect Father's Day gift.  It acknowledges that man cannot get by on natural energy alone, which is the sad, sad truth.