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Friday
Apr282017

Rad American Women A to Z

Listen up, nasty women—I know everything feels horrible right now and you vascillate between wanting to burn down a building or curl up into a ball and cry but buck up.  In times like these, it's important to remember that shit was always kind of shitty. In WWII, people couldn't eat sugar because of a little thing called RATIONING. Imagine being on a restrictive diet not because it's fashionable, but because the government was forcing you. I'm confident we now live in a society where there would be mass riots if someone tried to take away our soda pop, so progress, right?

Take inspiration from the past for use in the future via Rad American Women A to Z ($10, Amazon), which features 26 stories of amazing women who basically said, "fuck this shit" and did something amazing. It's the perfect gift for your daughter or for your ultra-conservative brother-in-law's kid. The future is female.  

Monday
Apr102017

In-Law Dinner Candle

There are a million fancy scented candles on the market, but "ocean breeze" or "campfire smoke" or "mountain lake" aren't really the scents that fit your life.  The scents that fit your life are more like "at work and hating life" or "sad dive bar" or "dinner with your in-laws."  Why not call a spade a spade?  

Stock your home with candles that make more sense for you, like this In-Law Dinner Candle ($20, Whiskey River Soap Co.) that smells like unseasoned pot roast and a heaping size of tension under the surface. Mmmmmmm smells like Sunday.  

Thursday
Mar232017

Literally Dead T-Shirt 

For all the basic bitches who toss around the word "literally" even though they're using it in completely the wrong way, this Literally Dead T-Shirt ($20, Human) is appropos but also a good lesson in what the word "literally" actually (or literally) means.  Look for a follow-up "I can't" shirt as well. 

Wednesday
Mar152017

Oy to the Vey Mug 

For anyone—from your adorable Jewish grandmother to your friend from college—who regularly says "ov vey" as a way to express mild to severe dismay will love this Oy to the Vey Mug ($19, Seltzer Goods).  It's the perfect Chanukah gift, great for morning coffee accompanied by a bagel and lox. 

Friday
Feb172017

Geek Wisdom

The Bible says "the meek shall inherit the Earth," but what it really should've said is: "the geeks shall inherit the Earth" (it also could've been A LOT clearer about pretty much everything else in there so religious nutbags would know that God doesn't want them to be dicks to people in his name—BUT THAT'S ANOTHER DISCUSSION ENTIRELY).  

Nerd culture has completely shifted the power dynamics in the world at-large. Don't believe me? Take a look at the world's richest people—they're all geeks like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Warren Buffet.

If you want to know how to succeed in high school, talk to a jock. If you want to know how to succeed in life, talk to a geek, or pick up a copy of Geek Wisdom ($12, Barnes & Noble), which compiles the advice of geeks from all walks of life to give you awesome perspective on everything.