[GIFTED] Saddle Ring

There are two kinds of girls who love horses: the rich kind who hire people to do the dirty work of taking care of the horses, and the not rich kind who do the dirty work of taking care of the horses for rich people.

The rich kind would come to school, raving about the medal she won in her latest jumping competition.  The non-rich kind would come to school smelling like manure because they were in the stables at 6AM.  

Either of them would love this Saddle Ring ($46, Robynn Molino), though it would probably look better on the Patrician hands of the rich girl, you know? 

[GIFTED] Book Stack Plant Potter

Your mother could care less about gardening when you were growing up, leaving all of the yard work to your father.  But when she retired, she had to find something to do, and the preferred activities of sleeping, eating, and drinking got too routine, she thought that she might give it a try.  It's what old people do, after all.

This Book Stack Plant Potter (Starting at $45, Uncommon Goods) will be the perfect Mother's Day gift that honors the two most boring hobbies on Earth—reading and gardening.  Every time you pass by this planter, you can laugh and say, "A garden is a friend you can visit anytime... SINCE YOU HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA" and your mom will yell at you and it will be the best/worst Mother's Day ever.  

[GIFTED] Kentucky State-Shaped Cutting Board

Let me ask you a simple question: What is more appropriate for you to cut up fresh mint leaves for your mint juleps on Kentucky Derby day?  A regular old cutting board, or a cutting board SHAPED LIKE THE FUCKING STATE OF KENTUCKY?

The answer is obvious, isn't it.  Pick up this Kentucky State-Shaped Cutting Board ($48, A. Heirloom) and all will be right in the world.  Also: A. Heirloom makes cutting boards for all 50 states, so even if your love for Kentucky is as fleeting as your love for mint juleps, you'll find one you DO like.

[GIFTED] The Mason Shaker

All winter, you spent time indoors, drinking pints full of dark stout beer and big pitchers full of Seasonal Affective Disorder. But now Spring is here, so it's time to set aside all of those winter refreshments in favor of light, fruity, minty drinks.

You may never be as cool (or douchey?) as the vest-wearing, mustachioed bartender at all of those fancy cocktail bars that are cropping up, but you can get the swagger by practicing mixing drinks with The Mason Shaker ($29, Bourbon & Boots) .

This product combines the mason jar style that is so popular on every girl's dream wedding on Etsy with an actual functional design so that you can mix your mint juleps in something that is more than appropriate. Here's to Spring.

[GIFTED] Seamless & Steadfast Steel Enamel Plates

Do you live in a goddamned cabin?  OR, are you one of those city dbags who longs to live in a goddamned cabin but you could never leave behind your "I can get pancakes delivered at 3am if I want to" city life? 

These Seamless & Steadfast Steel Enamel Plates ($35 for set of 2, Best Made Co.) are for you!  They will look great while you're eating a rare Elk steak you hunted yourself or a filet mignon that you bought in the gourmet market across the street from your apartment.