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[GIFTED] 3D Diamond Cage Ring

"When are you gonna propose?  When are you gonna put a ring on my finger?  When, when, when, when?!"  Does this sound familiar?  If so, that means you have a girlfriend who MIGHT want to get engaged sometime soon.  You're not ready for this.  That's because you're a chump.  JUST KIDDING.  There are a million reasons why someone may or may not want to get married RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE.

So, get her a promise ring, like you're a 17-year-old Mormon.  This 3D Diamond Cage Ring ($40, Studio Batch) would be a good one to get.  That'll hold her over.  


[GIFTED] Beautiful Things iPhone Case

There's not much else to say about this Beautiful Things iPhone Case ($35, Society6) iPhone case featuring this incredible, knock-you-on-your-ass quote from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty—beautiful things don't ask for attention.  Think about THAT for a second, and then when you realize you want to make that your life motto, snatch up this iPhone case.  Be like the Grand Canyon.  Be like Niagara Falls.  They don't ask for attention, they just get it.   


[GIFTED] Heels Higher Than Your Standards Tank Top

Are you surrounded by idiots who constantly settle in life?  Whether they're settling for a shitty job, shitty boyfriend, shitty bars, shitty food—their standards are decidedly l-o-w.  Let them know that you're onto their subpar lifestyle by wearing this Heels Higher Than Your Standards Tank Top ($39, Fifty5 Clothing).  It would make great attire for a family reunion, high school reunion, get together with slobby college friends, and the like.


[SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION] 14 Statement Socks for Fall

Look mom, I wrote about socks.  Listen up: if you (or your boyfriend) even have your PINKY on the pulse, you know that statement socks are BIG nowadays, which means you’ve probably got a drawer full of striped statement socks.  This Fall, though, it’s time to get a little more brave with your sock game.  So, I put together a round-up on Made Man of 14 non-striped socks that will surely make a statement this Fall.  Read it here.


[GIFTED] Grass is Greener Picnic Blanket

Did you know that August is National Picnic Month, according to some PR person who emailed me?  You didn't?  Well, it IS.  Of course, August was probably designated "National Picnic Month" by the same people who came up with "National S'more Day" or "National Ice Cream Day" or anything else that was thought up by Susan in marketing to sell more product.  Nevermind the fact that August is the hottest month of the summer and it's really less than desirable to sit outside in the sun with no AC but WHATEVER.

The POINT is that it's already August and the summer months are WANING.  If you want to get some quality outside time so you can ensure that you're not hanging on to your Vitamin D deficiency that you got during the Endless Winter of 2014, you better pack a picnic and haul ass to the nearest park.  Bring this Grass is Greener Picnic Blanket ($45, Kate Spade), which is a blanket printed with a picture of grass, allowing you to pretend that you're actually sitting in the ACTUAL grass, which is impossible to actually do if you don't want to leave the park with a grass-stained, damp ass (you don't).