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[GIFTED] Boozy Pop Candles

Back in your wilder days, you would go out drinking and the next morning your lover, mother, or angry roommate would admonish you, shouting, "YOU SMELL LIKE A BAR!" 

That's right, smelling like a bar called to mind all of the gross smells—sweet, desperation, cigarette smoke, and of course, the unmistakable smell of alcohol.  Now that you've settled down, though, your days of smelling like a bar are few and far between. 

Never fear, former boozehound—Jonathan Adler has just released these Boozy Pop Candles ($42 each) in scents like bourbon, champagne, and even vodka.  Now, thanks to these sleek-looking candles, your home can smell like a bar, and you can just smell like your usual scent of anxiety and unhappiness. 


[GIFTED] Wine Tasting on the Couch T-Shirt

When you were younger, you were ALL about going out.  You went out all the time.  Tipsy Tuesday, Wasted Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Sunday Funday, and the like (Friday and Saturday are a given for alcoholic activities, so they don't need a cute name to justify their existence like the other days of the week).

But now that you're older, you're not really into going out that much.  You hate crowds.  You hate noise.  You hate young people who are full of life and hopeful for the future.  THAT SAID, your need to self-medicate with alcohol hasn't disappeared, which is why you've taken to drinking in your apartment.  With friends.  Alone.  Whatever.  Ain't no shame in your game.  That's why you should buy this Wine Tasting on the Couch T-Shirt ($28, Human) and wear it with pride the next time you nestle into the couch with a couple of bottles of wine within arms reach. 


[GIFTED] Craft Beer Drinkers Union

15 years ago, there weren't a lot of options for domestic beer.  They were all mass-produced, and they more than likely tasted like something a tiny baby college student would drink during freshman year.  Can you imagine drinking the same shit you drank when you were 18 years old?  No, you can't, thanks to the craft beer industry that is currently BOOMING.  Sure, you drank Bud and Coors and Natty Ice (if you were especially broke), but once you graduated, your tastes became more refined (and your budget, hopefully, more robust) and you started exploring the incredible world of craft beers. 

You, and anyone who loves craft beer, should buy and wear this Craft Beer Drinkers Union ($25, The Social Dept), showing everyone you're in a special club that pays wayyyyy too much for fancy beer with weird names. 

This post was created in honor of The Great American Beer Festival, which I will be attending THIS WEEKEND.  See you Monday, if I survive.


[GIFTED] Mason Jar Necklace


We all know someone who is obsessed with mason jars.  She uses them for vases, they played a prominent role in her wedding tablescape design, her first born son is named Mason, and she regularly presents you with a mason jar full of fresh-made strawberry jam whenever you visit her home.

That's why she'll love this Mason Jar Necklace ($40, Bourbon & Boots), which can be personalized with initials, a special date, or a five-letter word (MASON is a five-letter word, FYI, if she wants to continue down the path of meta-lunacy). 


[GIFTED] 3D Diamond Cage Ring

"When are you gonna propose?  When are you gonna put a ring on my finger?  When, when, when, when?!"  Does this sound familiar?  If so, that means you have a girlfriend who MIGHT want to get engaged sometime soon.  You're not ready for this.  That's because you're a chump.  JUST KIDDING.  There are a million reasons why someone may or may not want to get married RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE.

So, get her a promise ring, like you're a 17-year-old Mormon.  This 3D Diamond Cage Ring ($40, Studio Batch) would be a good one to get.  That'll hold her over.