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Entries in under $50 (258)


[GIFTED] Milkshake Diagram Glasses

If your family has a widespread food addiction like mine does, you have fond, gut-busting memories at your grandmother or aunt's house, eating mountains of ice cream, piles of candy, and heaps of pizza.  Nothing was off-limits, and everything was STOCKED, because they equated food with love and happiness.  How else can you explain a person owning so many different kinds of ice cream sundae toppings?

For the woman who made more milkshakes and other ice cream concoctions than Baskin Robbins from the years of 1990-1998, here are these Milkshake Diagram Glasses ($36, Uncommon Goods).  And, if you'd like to one day become the aunt that sends children's sugar intakes through the roof during super fun sleepovers, pick up a set for yourself.  


[GIFTED] Grovemade Placemats 

You're an adult now, so you not only think about boring shit like placemats, but you actually spend your hard-earned money on them instead of, you know, booze and morning after pills.  How does this happen? Well, you get older, you start making more money (hopefully), and you decide that you want to be surrounded by nice things.  So you decide to drop a lot of cash on a dining room table, since you had been using your coffee table as your desk/dining room table/only table in your apartment for years.  You not only want your precious dining room table to look good, you want to protect it, so that's how we get to purchasing placemats.        

If you're going to purchase a set of placemats, you can't go wrong with these Grovemade Placemats ($49). Made out of sanded and scored wood and backed with luxe wool felt, they'll add style to your decor and protect that baller dining room table from scratches and water marks.  Because you care about that shit now.     


[GIFTED] Charted Sandwich Board Print 

A sandwich can be incredibly simple (ie: the PB&Js your stressed out mom made you every morning while screaming at you to get ready for school) or wonderfully complex (ie: any Dagwood-esque combination you come up with).  However fancy or no-frills you go, the fact is: put a bunch of shit between two pieces of bread and you've got a quality meal.  So, for any and all sandwich aficionados, this Charted Sandwich Board Print ($29, Pop Chart Lab) is the perfect addition to the kitchen.  Now, who wants a BLT?   


[GIFTED] You Better Have Pizza Doormat 

This You Better Have Pizza Doormat ($45, Lulu & Georgia) is a way for new homeowners to show off how hillllllllarious they are to new neighbors or visitors, but truthfully, I like to think of it as ALSO a way to menace assorted delivery people. 

"YOU BETTER HAVE PIZZA" might be a funny thing for your friends or your mom or the pizza delivery guy to read as they're waiting for you to come to the door, but the Chinese delivery guy?  The sushi delivery guy?  The exterminator?  It'll throw 'em off their game a bit, and if you're the type of person who wants to make people feel a little unsettled before they step into your home, this is the doormat for you. 


[GIFTED] Group Text T-Shirt

If you saw this Group Text T-Shirt ($28, Buy Me Brunch) and laughed out loud, we're all on the same page.  Sure, group texts can be great—they make sense for pure logistics.  If you're trying to corral a huge group of people to make plans, group text is an essential tool.  Group texts can also be hilarious if a bunch of friends are using it to reminisce about something that happened or make fun of a person from your past that you all hate. 

HOWEVER, even if you've got a group text going with people that you love, they almost always go on too long.  One person will always keep it going wayyyyy longer than the conversation demands.  Another person (typically your father or mother) will not understand the concept of a group text and will text everyone when they really just need to contact one person who's on the group test. 

You'll get out of a long meeting or wake up in the morning to 30 text messages feel panic rush over you.  DID SOMEONE DIE?  WHO DO I NEED TO CALL?  WHAT PLANE DO I NEED TO GET ON?  Then you realize it's the neverending text message from hell, and you just get annoyed.  ENOUGH, ALREADY.  But you can't say anything, because you don't want to come off as an asshole when literally everyone is watching.  So you ghost out of the conversation, hoping that the one person who always keeps it going will either realize that everyone has stopped responding to her or get hit by a BUS or something, anything to end the madness.  She doesn't get it.  It'll never stop.  It'll go on like this forever.  Buy this shirt and get used to it.  Or, change your number.