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[GIFTED] Back My Startup T-Shirt

There's this guy in your life who's always telling you about his next big project.  It's going to be "revolutionary," he tells you.  He posts Instagram photos from various bars and coffee shops with the caption saying something about spending the afternoon "brainstorming" or worse, "ideating."  He tries to come off as a young Steve Jobs, but really what he comes off as is a douchebag.

He's never had a regular job—he's always been a "consultant," even when he was in his early 20's and didn't have enough experience to consult anyone on how to get to the bathroom.  He's constantly jumping from job to job, company to company, idea to idea, and for whatever reason, it irritates the hell out of you.

Maybe it's because you share your grandfather's indignation for shiftless young people who have no sense of direction or loyality.  Maybe it's because he never seems to be doing any actual work but somehow he can support himself just fine.  Whatever the reason—get over it.  One day, one of his ridiculous ideas might stick, and you'll very much enjoy flying in his private jet or staying in his palatial mansion. 

Get him this Back My Startup T-Shirt ($25, Rap Shirts for White People) and tell him to wear it to his next investor meeting, like Mark Zuckerberg wore his pajamas to his investor meeting.  Because both your friend and Mark Zuckerberg are major assholes.  What a world.


[GIFTED] Venkman Ghostbusters T-Shirt

Hey, it's the 30th Anniversary of the release of Ghostbusters, which probably makes you feel epically old, right?  Me too.  Your favorite Ghostbusters afficionado will wear this Venkman Ghostbusters T-Shirt ($26, 80s Tees) to every anniversary celebration, every endless viewing party in his buddy's basement, and literally anywhere else you'll let him (keep it limited to Ghostbusters festivities, though.  He's an adult, right?).    


[GIFTED] BirdieBox 

Your dad loves golf.  He keeps a standing tee time at the local country club.  He was subscriber #1 for Golf Digest.  He zones out for hours in front of golf on TV (which is equivalent to watching paint dry as far as you're concerned).  That's why you'll be the child of the year if you get him a subscription to BirdieBox for Father's Day.

Your dad will tell you he doesn't want anything for Father's Day because he thinks gifts are ridiculous.  "Take the money you would spend on me and put it in a savings account, or better yet—an IRA." He's LYING.  And you'll find out how much he's lying when your mother calls to tell you how GIDDY he gets when he opens up his BirdieBox each month. 

Available in one month ($45), three month ($133), six month ($260), and one year ($500) subscription packages, the BirdieBox comes filled with $100 dollars worth of merch each month—socks, shirts, cigars, snacks, sunglasses, visors, golf balls, special tees; everything your golf-obsessed dad is sure to love.    


[GIFTED] Sugarwish

You're trying to figure out a gift you can buy for someone you don't know very well.  It's for your boss, co-worker, your boyfriend's mother—basically someone who is really on the fringes of your life.  You know what everyone likes?  No, not alcohol, but good guess!  It's CANDY.  Everyone fucking loves candy.  Even the people who constantly talk about how they "eat clean" shove a bag of M&Ms into their face in a darkened conference room when they're stressed.

That's why Sugarwish is so brilliant.  You pick the package you want to send, the recipient gets an email alert telling them to choose their candy (so you don't have to know whether they like Sour Patch Kids or Peanut M&Ms), and then Sugarwish sends their sweets directly to them. 

You gave them the gift of stress eating, how thoughtful of you! 


[GIFTED] Notorious RBG T-Shirt

There's a meme going around that says "STOP MAKING STUPID PEOPLE FAMOUS," which is definitely being shared by girls who contribute to the Kardashian's ratings success by watching it, but that's besides the point.  The point is that we DO make stupid people famous.  Over and over again.  We reward people with no skills and make them rich.  We're working away to make our own version of hell where little snots like Justin Bieber can run around thinking they're above the law because they basically are.  

It's time to put an end to this.  Let's start admiring people who are worthy of our admiration, like the supreme badass depicted on this Notorious RBG T-Shirt ($28, Human), who happens to be on the Supreme Court.  That's right, Ruth Bader-Ginsburg, a little Jewish girl from Brooklyn who grew up to be a civil rights crusader and the second female Supreme Court Justice in history. 

Rather than exhalting the fellow Brooklynite that this shirt is parodying (aka Christopher Wallace aka Notorious BIG), let's celebrate a genuine badass like Ruth.  Gift this shirt to any liberal lawyer, civil rights advocate or recent law school grad, and start to break the cycle.