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[GIFTED] Trail Topography Hat 

Ever since Cheryl Strayed's Wild exploded, a nation of idiots have been inspired to go "into the woods" and "get off the grid" for a few months.  Great, good riddance, you think.  But no.  They're not off the grid.  They're posting an endless barrage of Instagram photos in front of a crystal-clear mountain lake with a douchey caption like, "Monday morning meetings suck."  You view this photo from an actual Monday morning meeting and start to get murdery.  Who does this jerk think he is, pretending to be one with nature? 

Breathe in, breathe out.  Namaste, as your jerk friend who's in the woods would say.  Face the fact that some people can quit their job and spend a month hiking around Yosemite, and some people are like you, who get shit for taking 2 weeks in a row off from their boss who routinely takes 3 weeks off.  We all make our own choices. 

Suck it up and get him this Trail Topography Hat ($34, Parks Project), as a nod to his time traversing the great outdoors.  Designed with an awesome trail topography design, he'll wear it everywhere—on the trail, to sporting goods store, and to the bar where he can impress girls with his trail stories. 


[GIFTED] The Pressure Print

Hosting Thanksgiving dinner today?  Bless your crazy little heart.  The Pressure Print ($25, The Pressure) is your personal mantra for today.  Think of how accomplished you'll feel when your loved ones are splayed out in your living room post-dinner, looking like some kind of religious cult that just made good on their suicide pact.  You'll survey the damage in the kitchen and think, "I've done it again."  

Go get 'em.   


[GIFTED] Meat: Everything You Need to Know

Everything about the Thanksgiving meal revolves around the turkey, which is ridiculous because turkey is actually one of the most boring meats you could possibily cook.  Steak, chicken, fish—you have them all of the time.  They just require a little seasoning, and a little braising, sauteeing, frying... whatever your preferred method.  But turkey?  When do you roast a whole turkey aside from one day per year?  Do I hear "never?" That's right.  

And for the people who eat turkey sandwiches on the regular, that's fine, but those sandwiches taste good not because turkey tastes good, but because you're putting it on bread, adding cheese, lettuce, tomato, condiments, etc.  Shoe leather could taste good if you put it between some good bread and topped it with enough acoutrements.  

I'm all for tradition, but turkey can blow me any day that isn't Thanksgiving day.  That's why I'm all over Meat: Everything You Need to Know ($27, Amazon), an impressive tome written by the legendary NYC meat man Pat LaFrieda.  The book features 75 recipes for beef, pork, lamb, veal and poultry, served alongside mouth-watering photos—not a turkey recipe in sight.  Snatch this book up for yourself and for the self-righteous, meat-loving foodie in your life ASAP.  


[GIFTED] Hudson Whiskey

Whiskey is very important to have around your Thanksgiving table (or any holiday table, for that matter) because everyone needs something strong to stress-drink.  Why?  Because the holidays are inherently stressful and everyone's thrown together with people they may or may not like.  What do you do when your Uncle Bob starts talking how he's totally loves gay people, he just doesn't think they should be able to get married?  Take a swig.  What do you do when your mother looks in your general direction and says, "Well, I'd just like to have grandchildren at one point."  Take a swig.  It helps.    

Lucky for you, Hudson Whiskey—which was established in 2001 and is the first whiskey distillery in New York State since Prohibition—comes in several flavors, so you can taste all of the flavors of holiday despair in one sitting.  Brilliant.  Now, let's talk about what Thanksgiving dinner must have been like during the Prohibition.  WOOF.


[GIFTED] Vintage Budweiser Holiday Crate

There are certain men in your life who scoff at the very idea of craft beer.  They're usually your father or your uncle, the guys who would drink 32 Budweisers or Schlitzes while mowing the lawn on a Saturday.

That's why, if you want to be these old men's hero on Thanksgiving, show up with one of these limited edition Budweiser cases.  It comes in a handmade wooden crate with 18 Budweisers and two pilsner glasses inside, all featuring authentic classic labels from 1918, 1933, and 1976, so they can reminisce about the glory days.  Only 10,000 will be produced, so snap one up quickly.