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[GIFTED] Grid Foam Rollers

No pain, no gain is a often-repeated axiom in the fitness world and your gym rat friend is someone who believes in it whole-heartedly. You roll over at 10am on Saturday, check Instagram, and see that he's already posted about his early morning workout (either a picture of his feet outside or a selfie in the gym mirror). You check Facebook that night and you see that he's posted 13 fitness-related memes throughout the day that are a mix of encouragement, braggadociousness, and judgement. See enough of them and you HOPE he's in pain.

Whatever, whatever, whatever, though. GOOD FOR HIM. If he's working out constantly, he's likely going to be sore a lot of the time, and that's why he swears by foam rollers to help get the kinks out. These Grid Foam Rollers ($65, Trigger Point) are supposed to be the best foam rollers out there, looking less like a pool noodle and more like a genuine piece of workout equipment. The 3D surface is designed to replicate the feeling of a massage therapist's hands, which is good, because massage therapist's hands are expensive.


[GIFTED] Unicorn Tears Gin 

There are people in the world who are completely obsessed with unicorns, likely because they're narcissists who equate the unicorn's mystique and uniqueness with themselves.  Or, they were just really obsessed with The Last Unicorn when they were little. REGARDLESS, your friend is either super self-involved or just plain weird, and boy, do we have a perfect gift for that type of person: Unicorn Tears Gin ($57, Firebox).

Full disclosure: it's basically Goldschlager (if you recall your college days when you drank too much of it and became THE GIRL WITH THE GOLDEN PUKE), but instead of flecks of gold, it's got flecks of silver, which will definitely NOT do damage as they're working their way through your insides.  Enjoy, and may your hangover be as special as a real unicorn! 


[GIFTED] Emotional Baggage Tote

When you're lugging things to and fro, it's nice to have a sturdy bag to carry all of your shit, whether it's the supplies for tonight's dinner, your gym clothes, or just a bunch of random crap you're hauling because we need to surround ourselves with THINGS in order to feel whole.

You know what else we're carrying around, though?  A shit ton of emotional baggage, and it's time we were just up front about it for once.  This Emotional Baggage Tote ($53, School of Life) will help you lug around all of the physical shit while making your fellow commuters laugh.  


[GIFTED] Noveau Riche Pillow

You might not be an heiress, but you've worked hard for what you have, and in a lot of ways, that's better, right?  You get more satisfaction from earning your own money than getting it handed to you, right?  The words "nouveau riche" are meant to be an insult, but let's take it back.  We'd all rather be nouveau riche than not riche (or, if we stop being fancy for a second, "RICH"), and don't believe anyone that tells you otherwise.

Let everyone know about your new mantra by posting this Noveau Riche Pillow ($68, Furbish Studio) in a prominent space in your home.  Hey, you earned it.      

[GIFTED] Vacation Sweatshirt

There's piles of research that shows that the cure to what ails most people is very simple: a goddamned vacation.  Feeling restless?  Vacation.  Feeling stressed?  Vacation.  Feeling tired and overworked?  Vacation. Feeling like you're frittering away your youth in an office?  Vacation—one where you spend 80% of it outside.

Since vacation is almost always the right answer, it'll be good to invest in this Vacation Sweatshirt ($62, ILY Couture).  Think of all of the Instagrammable moments you'll have while wearing this—on the plane, having a cocktail on the balcony of your hotel room, and every other douchey pose you can think of to make your non-vacationing friends green with envy.