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Wednesday
Oct012014

[GIFTED] Mason Jar Necklace

 

We all know someone who is obsessed with mason jars.  She uses them for vases, they played a prominent role in her wedding tablescape design, her first born son is named Mason, and she regularly presents you with a mason jar full of fresh-made strawberry jam whenever you visit her home.

That's why she'll love this Mason Jar Necklace ($40, Bourbon & Boots), which can be personalized with initials, a special date, or a five-letter word (MASON is a five-letter word, FYI, if she wants to continue down the path of meta-lunacy). 

Tuesday
Sep302014

[GIFTED] Read This if You Want to Take Great Photographs

Instagram has made everyone on the planet think that they're great photographers.  You can't go to dinner without some Ansel Adams wannabe contorting himself in the middle of the dining room in order to snap the perfect overhead picture of his oyster appetizer.  Your newsfeed on Facebook is overrun with the same shitty, out-of-focus pictures that the repeat offenders tag with "#nofilter."  You want to respond with "#nokidding," but you don't because you are a COWARD. 

Look—photography is a noble pursuit.  Who doesn't like to look at beautiful photos, even if they're accompanied by some humble-braggy bullshit caption?  That's why you should pass out copies of Read This if You Want to Take Great Photographs ($15, Amazon) to any Instagram-obsessed friend and hopefully the expert advice it contains will help them take better photo of everything from sunsets to dinners to their stupid faces in the mirror (#selfie). It's a public service, really.

Monday
Sep292014

[GIFTED] Lost Something in Your Beard Card

People's desires shift through the years based on which movie stars are popular.  Seriously, this version of a clean-cut Brad Pitt in a baggy khaki clown suit was considered the HEIGHT OF HANDSOME back in the 90s.  Now it's all man buns and beards and skinny jeans.     

What I'm trying to get at here is that you are either in love with a guy who has a beard or you know someone who is in love with a guy who has a beard.  Either way, make everyone happy by purchasing this  Lost Something in Your Beard Card ($4, Detriot Card Co.).  It'll let that bearded dude know that he's loved, and ALSO let him know that he can throw away that razor for good.

Friday
Sep262014

[GIFTED] Celebrity Prayer Candles

You know alllllllllll about Prayer Candles.  Either your overly religious grandmother had them around her house when you were growing up, or you bought them prior to a hurricane because they were the only candles left by the time you dragged your ass to the store. 

The thing about Prayer Candles is that because they so prominently feature renderings of various religious people that they hardly give off any light.  If the power is out and you want to read a book, you need to light like 35 of them to be able to see.  If you're going to look at a portrait of the Virgin Mary, you at least want it to be FUNCTIONAL.  But I guess that's not the point.   

So if you're going to have a barely semi-functioning candle in your home, at least have the visage of someone you don't mind looking at (face it—Mary's kind of judgy).  Enter these brilliant Celebrity Prayer Candles ($12, DMagic).  Made in the style of traditional Prayer Candles, they feature our patron saints of celebrity—guys like Christopher Walken, Nicolas Cage, Bill Murray, Tom Hanks, Nick Offerman, and the like.  Light up your life (and your apartment) with these badasses. Literally. 

Thursday
Sep252014

[GIFTED] Limited Edition Simpsons Converse

Simpsons fans are fervent in their devotion to what is now the longest-running sitcom in history (except when you mention anything after season 10, which they'll tell you is absolute crap).  They've got all of the DVDs, they went to see The Simpsons Movie on opening day, and they actually say the words "d'oh" and "woohoo" out loud.  They asked you to buy them the ridiculously overpriced Simpsons Lego Set for their birthday.

So if you want to be the Simpsons fan's ultimate hero, you should pick them up a pair of these Limited Edition Simpsons Converse (Black-and-Whites for $40 or Lisa & Maggies for $60), which will allow them to wear their geekiness directly on their feet.