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[12 DAYS OF GIFT GUIDES] Gifts for Everyone on Your Goddamned List

It is BLACK FRIDAY, the absolute worst shopping day of the year, where crazy yokels stand in a line outside of Walmart at 4AM, eagerly awaiting their chance to trample their fellow man to buy a flatscreen TV on severe discount.  Puts you in the holiday spirit, right?  Can you hear the Nat King Cole playing?   

Take my advice and STAY HOME.  There are so many great things you can buy ON THE INTERNET.  I will show them to you.  Yes, I will show them to you in the form of our annual 12 Days of Gift Guides, where I post—you guessed it—12 gift guides chock full of ideas on what to buy your parents, your spouse, your casual work acquaintance, your estranged Aunt Becky, etc.

The gift guides will start Monday, and continue until 12/24.  

But if you cannot WAIT for all of this fantastic shopping inspiration, you can check out the 12 Days of Gift Guides of the past.  You can also follow me on Twitter and Facebook for links to gift guides I'm writing for other sites because I'm a psychotic overachiever.  Still not satisfied?  Subscribe to the e-newsletter in the sidebar, or check out the buttons above it, which allow you to sort by how much you want to spend, or what type of thing you're looking for. 


[GIFTED] Thanksgiving Turkey Football


If you're a member of a particularly athletic family, your gatherings often center around sports and fitness. Around Thanksgiving, you all run together in your town's Turkey Trot.  Your brother organizes a touch football game in the backyard after everyone's about to pass out from the mind-numbing effects of turkey's tryptophan. Your mom watches from the porch, your dad is locked into a silent competition with your brother to prove that he's still the man of the house, and your sister's new boyfriend plays a little too aggressively for everyone's collective comfort level.

This year, at Thanksgiving, present this commemorative Thanksgiving Turkey Football ($140, Leather Head Sports) to your family of competitive assholes athletes.  Declare it the Thanksgiving "game ball" and give it to each year's MVP to keep until next year.  You're like the Waltons.  Except drunker.   


[SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION] 9 Gifts for Pixar Obsessives

This week marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Toy Story, the movie that revolutionized animated film and brought the Pixar ethos to our collective consciousness.  For two decades, Pixar has been creating incredible, heartfelt movies that make literally everyone cry their eyes out.  Because Pixar movies are so consistently good (okay, let's not talk about Cars), there are legions of adults who are proud Pixar devotees, whether they have kids or not.

And for those people—the ones who stand in line to see each movie on its premiere day—we've rounded up 9 awesome gifts.  Adventure is out there—read it here.


[SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION] 18 Best Scarves for the Cold 

You resisted scarves for most of your youth. “I don’t need a scarf!” you’d say to your mother or your girlfriend or other concerned females in your life. You viewed it as a useless accessory. Then, you’d head out into the cold and freeze your ass off.  Finally, you grew up, got over your stubbornness, and realized that there’s nothing cool about being cold all of the time. You were also amazed at how this small piece of fabric can really keep you warm when you’re out in the elements. Scarves are legit.

In addition to keeping you warm, they also make you look good. They make you look like you would be at home at a nice ski chalet, and women love nice ski chalets. Take notes, and read it on HiConsumption.


[SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION] 10 Gifts to Occupy Kids During Holiday Gatherings

Remember how bored you were as a kid when your parents carted you around to different relatives’ houses during the holidays? You were supposed to sit quietly for five hours and listen to the adults drone on about boring stuff like taxes or that one lady they all didn’t like (who knows what Monica did, but man, everyone HATED her). It was not fun.

So, this year, when you encounter kids at holiday gatherings, rather than awkwardly asking them how school is and then walking away in the general direction of the drinks, show up with a gift specifically for them.

Select the right one and it’ll keep them occupied and quiet, which will be appreciated by literally every single person in attendance. Who’s a holiday hero? You are. Check out 10 of our favorites here