For years, pet stuff in our homes have been purely functional. A giant hunter green plastic food bowl for your dog. A weirdly carpeted dome-shaped thing for your cat to lay on top of, never inside, like he's supposed to. It all looked ugly as all hell, but it's for your pet, and why waste money on nicely designed things for your pet, right? WRONG.
If it's in your home, you've got to look at it. We look at enough ugly stuff all day, every day—our stupid bosses' face, garbage on the street, Giuliana Rancic on E! News—and that's why our pets' stuff needs an upgrade. These adorable Pet Bowl & Tray Sets ($93, Deny Designs) allow for exactly that. Functional and nicely designed. There are a ton more designs available, so you're sure to find one that will fit your home's style and your dog or cat's obnoxious personality.
If you have a literary-type friend who is also a foodie, congratulations on finding literally the best gift you could possibly get them: Fictitious Dishes ($16, Amazon). No, it's not a cookbook—it's a photo-driven coffee table book that takes passages from beloved novels—the tea party from Alice in Wonderland, the clam chowder from Moby Dick, the deli sandwich from Catcher in the Rye, and so on—and pairs them with a visual recreation of the dish.
Your bookish friend will go apeshit over this, no doubt.
There are people who passively drink Bloody Marys at brunch every now and then because they like the idea of a Bloody Mary. Then, there are people who actually LIKE Bloody Marys. These are the people who are forever chasing the dragon of a good bloody mary because true Bloody Mary afficionados know that there are SO many things that can go wrong when someone makes a Bloody Mary.
1. How it's served. Most people will do the right thing and give you a Bloody Mary that's made-to-order. But some places serve a Bloody Mary from a ready-made batch that's been hanging out in a pitcher full of ice for 45 minutes—typically seen at all-you-can-drink brunch places. Who wants a watered-down Bloody Mary? Nobody.
2. The mix. Some prefer thin, some prefer thick. Some prefer chunks of horseradish and fresh cracked black pepper, some prefer it smooth and factory-made. Whatever your preference, you're pretty much guaranteed to be disappointed at least half the times you order one because the bartender's preference on mix won't match your own.
3. Spiciness. Same with the mix—some want their Bloody Mary to just have a tiny kick, others want to set their mouths on fire.
4. Acoutrements. As the artisanal cocktail movement has reached its fever pitch, bartenders have been given the freedom to serve you a cocktail with a bunch of bullshit sticking out of it. A Bloody Mary has always been the perfect cocktail for doing just this, because it's probably the heartiest drink you can order outside of a milkshake. But let's cool it, okay? Can I eat a stalk of rosemary? No. A chunk of pepperoni? YOU'RE DISGUSTING. Celery, bro. Stick to the celery.
I think I've belabored the point enough—Bloody Marys are complicated mistresses. That's why you always want to start with a quality base, like what you'll get with Hellfire Club Bloody Mary Mix ($28, Arrowhead Farms). Buy this for yourself, bring it to a friend's BBQ along with a bottle of vodka—it's a party in a bottle.
Social media has completely taken over our lives. We're checking our Twitter feed in line at the store, we're jumping over tourists and small children just to get the best sunset shot to post on Instagram. We're uploading #humblebrags all over the internet, carefully crafting the story so that we can make people jealous of how fabulous our lives are.
And don't get all self-righteous and say, "Well, I don't do that." We all do that, but the fact is that some people do it WAY more than others. And the people who post excessively to social media are the ones who can be characterized as bona fide "social media obsessives" (not to be confused with "social media mavens," which, in fact, don't exist). Social Media Obsessives are the types of people who have a regular life with a regular job in a regular town and somehow have amassed 30,000 Instagram followers. They're the types who insist on documenting every step of their day and uploading it to their social channels. They're the types who make it impossible to have a real conversation because they're too busy having a "social" conversation while staring at their phone while they sit in front of you in a bar or restaurant.
So, we've rounded up a list of gifts perfect for the type of person who strives to be "internet famous." Read it here.