[GIFTED] Ski Slope Door Wedges

Have you ever noticed that the phrase, "my door is always open" is usually said by douchebags?  "My door is always open" indicates that this person is always available to you, which is never the case.  The people who are actually always available are hiding in their offices with the door shut (if their office even HAS a door), because their constant availability has indicated that they can handle EVERYTHING while the "my door is always open" pricks are gallivanting around town without a care in the world.  

If you ARE one of those d-bags, you can prop your door open with these beautifully-designed Ski Slope Door Wedges ($15, Svpply).  The rest of us poor schmucks will be hiding under our desks.  

[GIFTED] BBQ Bruce Balcony Grill

One of the worst things about living in the city is that you rarely have an outdoor space to call your own.  This means no letting your dog out in the backyard to roam free, no sitting outside with a cold drink, and absolutely NO barbeques.  If you're determined to have a little BBQ action in your life, you have to get to the nearest park by 6AM in order to snag one of those disgusting permanent park grills from 1925, OR you have to buy a grill, find a place to put it in your tiny apartment, and lug it to the park (you don't have a car) every time you want to grill.  It's almost enough to make you want to move to the suburbs.

Don't do anything drastic, my city dwelling comrades.  The BBQ Bruce Balcony Grill ($77, Connox) is the answer to all of your problems.  Mount it on the rails of your balcony/fire escape and you have an instant built-in grill.  Who needs a back yard?  Not you, man.  Not you.  

[GIFTED] Fuck It Let's Drink T-Shirt

So, you've had a hellish week at work.  Not your typical annoying week, but a HELLISH week.  The kind that makes you lay on the floor of your apartment and question your choices in life so far.  You need an intravenous drip of vodka after a week like this.  The only friends you need after a week like this are Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, and Captain Morgan.  

Here's what you do: leave work at 5pm on the dot, go home, drink a beer in one gulp.  Get out of your stupid, uncomfortable work clothes.  Throw on this Fuck It Let's Drink T-Shirt ($22, Buy Me Brunch).  Head to the bar, drink until you don't feel feelings anymore.  Wake up, buy a bagel and a ginger ale and watch shitty reality shows on E!.  All you need.     

[GIFTED] Chillsner

Summertime is approaching, and everyone's favorite activity abounds: that's right—drinking on patios.  Because this is a such a beloved activity, companies are falling all over themselves to create products that make the experience even better.  The newest product is the Chillsner ($30 for a set of 2, Uncommon Goods), which is essentially a freezable tube that you insert into your beer that will chill it from the inside.  The Chillsner's design allows you to drink from the bottle while it's cooling the bottle down.  That's all well and good, but some minimal planning would negate this situation.  How hard is it to pick up some cold beer?

Here are the scenarios in which you would need a Chillsner:

1. You're not a borderline alcoholic and you don't have beer constantly chilling in your fridge.

2. You live in an alternate universe where no stores sell already chilled beer.

3. You are a slow, slow, s-l-o-w drinker and by the time you get through a measly 12 oz bottle, it's already lukewarm. 

Cheers, I guess.

[GIFTED] Saddle Ring

There are two kinds of girls who love horses: the rich kind who hire people to do the dirty work of taking care of the horses, and the not rich kind who do the dirty work of taking care of the horses for rich people.

The rich kind would come to school, raving about the medal she won in her latest jumping competition.  The non-rich kind would come to school smelling like manure because they were in the stables at 6AM.  

Either of them would love this Saddle Ring ($46, Robynn Molino), though it would probably look better on the Patrician hands of the rich girl, you know?