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[SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION] The Best Chocolate to Stuff in Your Easter Basket 

Easter is upon us and your time is limited for assembling an Easter basket for your spouse/mother/kid. Easter baskets, of course, are traditionally filled with a bunch of candy, and maybe—if you were lucky—a few small gifts. You’re going to have to figure out the “few small gifts” situation on your own, but we’re going to help you out with the chocolate part. After all, you don’t want to run flailing into your local Rite Aid, grabbing up fake grass and 99 cent chocolates. You’re better than that. Your loved ones are better than that. If you’re going to give someone you love a basket full of sugar, shouldn’t it be the very best kind? Thought so.

We’ve rounded up the very best, most chocolatey chocolates to stuff in your Easter basket this year. It’ll blow those stale Russell Stover boxes out the window. Trust.

Read it on Parade.


[GIFTED] Dapper Rabbit Plates

You're hosting Easter brunch at your house for the first time.  Your mother, father, grandmother, and other assorted loud-mouth relatives will be in attendance.  You're going to make a quiche, and everyone is going to tell you that it's "a little dry."  You're going to dye Easter eggs and piss of your grandmother when you write anti-religious things on your eggs in white crayon, only for them to be revealed after the egg is dyed and after you have left the table because you became disinterested in the process. 

What better plates to serve Easter brunch that will surely offend your family in some way than on these Dapper Rabbit Plates ($8 each, West Elm)?  Look, grandma—a rabbit in a sweater!


[GIFTED] Chocolate Robin's Eggs

Easter is about a week away, but you don't want to go all out with a giant basket filled with enough candy to give the recipient early onset Diabetes.  You want your gift to be Easter-y, but understated.  You also don't want to spend a ton of money on it (way to go, cheapskate).

Look no further than these Chocolate Robin's Eggs ($8, Terrain).  They're classic Easter candy served in a nice glass mason jar, which makes you look classy and whimsical and Pinterest-y.  You know how much white women love their mason jars, right?  Of course you do. 


[GIFTED] Paddle Ball Sets 


Hey, Forrest Gump.  It's Springtime, so you're feeling a little more sprightly lately.  You're actually leaving the office to get a coffee rather than sitting planted in your desk chair for the entire day because you're afraid to go outside and into the cold.  You're feeling like you want to go get a beer with friends after work rather than rush home and read browse Buzzfeed on your phone under a mountain of blankets. In short, you're in a playful mood.

And you know what will make you feel MORE playful?  Actually playing a [low-intensity] physical game with these Paddle Ball Sets ($29, Izola).  They're brightly-colored and fun.  Throw 'em in your suitcase when you're going on a weekend trip and turn a regular old table into a makeshift ping pong table. 


[GIFTED] Dolly Parton Coin Purse

It's hard to be a Southerner living in the North.  Everyone is so abrupt.  Everyone is moving so quickly.  People hear your accent and assume you can't read.  But a lot of things have come out of the South (well, not SLAVERY)—namely, good whiskey and country music (and the ensuing delicious drama created by country musicians). 

And who's a bigger country music character than Dolly Parton?  Everyone knows her because of her big hair, ridiculous sequined outfits, and GIANT BOOBS, but girlfriend is a SURVIVOR.  She has been performing since the 1950's.  She has been married ONCE, happily, for nearly 50 years (bet you didn't see that one coming).  She wrote the song "I Will Always Love You," so you have Dolly to thank for the blockbuster shitfest version from Whitney Houston on The Bodyguard Soundtrack.  Elvis once wanted to buy the rights to that song and she told him NO because he wanted to own the rights.  This proves that Dolly is a true badass as well as a financial wizard, which is why her face is rightfully emblazoned on this Dolly Parton Coin Purse ($26, Bourbon & Boots).  You know she made a KILLING off of that one song.  And others. What a role model.